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Sunday, October 28, 2018

7 lines

I love this prompt from Tad. Sorry I'm so late posting it.  Write a poem that is exactly seven lines long, and ends in a different location from where it started.

68 comments :

  1. I will write one myself for this, but meanwhile, I accidentally texted the prompt to my brother, who has just finished moving back east after three decades in New Mexico, and he immediately responded with this:

    SEVEN LINES, CHANGE LOCATION

    We started out from Santa Fe
    We headed East by Interstate
    We had some trouble on the way
    Our clutch, it seems, was not so great.
    But still, we only lost a day,
    We beat the movers, met them there
    At 2 Grove Terrace, in Montclair.

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    1. love it! well done! hope your brother will write more for other prompts.

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    2. sounds like a pretty smooth move. i usually lose half my stuff and end up in the wrong place - paul.

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    3. Awesome that your brother did the prompt, and I love the poem. Do I remember reading something that the two of you are working on a new novel?

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  2. Is that different places literally, to start and end? Like the one in the poem? or metaphorically? Pardon my need for clarification? Thanks!

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    1. Yes, I was wondering the very same thing...can it be metaphorically???? I think that would broaden our chances for differences in our poetry. Otherwise, I think it will be a little redundant...maybe...I don't know...just confused a little

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    2. I would think like any other prompt it is use your imagination as long as you stay within the guidelines

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    3. Any prompt is better if you subvert it a little. And just because I picked up on Bonnie’s form doesn’t mean anyone else has to.

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  3. Going Places (a septanelle)

    At twenty-four
    I leave America
    travel by plane to a foreign shore
    the Lufthansa
    so big it frightens me
    Flies us across the ocean and the sea
    Germany tour

    Septanelle rhyme scheme
    a/b/a/b/c/c/a
    syllables
    4/6/10/4/6/10/4

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    1. I like this, and I like the form...I didn’t know it existed. Maybe I’ll try to work in it, too. I like the America/Lufthansa rhyme. I’d really like to see see you do some more work on it, especially the last two lines. It’s a bit of a letdown to end by saying she’s taking a tour. You have youth, you have fear - but bravery too. I want to see it pay off more than it does in the last two lines.

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    2. yeah, germans can be big and scary - love - paul.

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    3. I agree Tad. I knew it needed a better ending but got lost and couldn't come up with anything. I will work on it.

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    4. Love it and love the form. I did my funny one. I'm going to do a real one too.

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    5. Very clever, as always, a good one.

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  4. Couldn't resist.

    Start with line one
    Another line makes two.
    Add a third line, make it that much more fun.
    Fourth line to do.
    We are up to five! Wow!
    Here's a sixth line of a septanelle, now
    seven. We're done.

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    Replies
    1. Billy Collins has a sonnet like this.

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    2. playing with numbers vic. like it - one, two love to you - paul.

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    3. I know Billy Collins did it. I'm afraid that's where I stole it from. LOL.

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  5. You never dip
    Your oar in the same stream
    Twice. Don’t bother trying. You’re not so hip
    As you might seem.
    That peak in Darien
    Won’t change your life. Stay home and change within.
    It’s worth the trip.

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    1. and it was worth the read! yours flows much better than mine even though it's the same form... hmmmmm... yeah I have to work on mine.

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    2. Yours is more ambitious than mine. There’s a lot there. I would love to see you work on it more. It’s a harder form than it looks, because of that jump from 6 to 10 syllables.

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    3. Yeah, I noticed the big jump even in my silly one. And I love this. I'm having fun with reading just the first and last lines of the poems to see how they fit the prompt, and mostly they kind of read like their own little poems.

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    4. Yes it is, and I like the poem's directness

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  6. reminded me of an old buddhist saying " you can't step on the same piece of water twice " - paul.

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  7. DESCENDING

    for a time i lived in heaven
    at the time i was forty seven
    but my bread failed to levern
    used to have an amp that went up to eleven
    lost it all down the wishing well
    many tales i will never tell
    now i mostly live in hell.

    was gonna put an eighth line just to be a rebel....but behaved myself for a change - paul.

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    1. thanks bonita. quite a journey. if i could have sneaked an eighth line in, it would be " now i toll the division bell " but i can't, so i wont - love and peace - paul.

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    2. I really wish I could see you perform. This is another I can just imagine live. Do you video?

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    3. not very good with video's and smart phones vic. i just tend to perform for the moment. i took over the mic in bar loco last night. they needed a crowbar to get me off stage ha ha - 7 wonders of the world - paul.

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    4. I like it, clever rhymes oo.

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    5. thanks tash. like the shape of this one - love and peace - paul.

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  8. THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

    it started in america, with yul brynner, the cool one
    steve mc queen never shot wrong
    james coburn never missed with a knife
    robert vaugh never had a wife
    when charles bronson was cool
    horst buckoltz was the young punk fool
    the last one i can't remember, but seven samurai went to mexico to show eli wallach he didn't belong....." ride on ".

    as you may have guessed " the magnificent seven " is one of my favourite films. also the title of an incredible clash triple album

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    1. thanks bonita. quote " you came back....a man like you. for a place like this? "

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    2. I like it and like the others, the first and last lines are almost a poem all by themselves.

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    3. thanks vic. just a bit of fun. i like writing about old movies. new movies are rubbish. a bunch of giant robots beating each other up for no particular reason hmmmmm hardly cary grant is it? - black and white paul.

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    4. Nice poem, nicely put.Actually, there are a few good ones,I avoid the conflict ones and opt for the fun.

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    5. sometimes conflict is unavoidable tash, if you need to do what is right - my hat is cooler though ha ha - paul.

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  9. Good job. The last one was the guy who was sure there was hidden gold.

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  10. he was called harry in the film, but i can't remember the actors name. " you came back! a man like you, for a place like this " - eli wallach's horse ha ha. just a bit of fun. the first one is the serious one, that scared the library ladies - paul.

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  11. You are here
    says the map at the mall
    but am I really here
    at all?
    follow the red line
    to another somewhere
    To get from here to there!

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    1. there is a huge replica map of the city in the museum. i said to the lady " i could carry that around all day and i'd still get lost " ha ha - i only be using pirate maps aaarrrrgggghhh - paul.

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    2. I love this. It can be read on many levels. It could almost be a kid poem, taken literally. But has deeper adult meaning too.

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    3. Oh this is a cute one, you really had fun!

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  12. I am so impressed by all these poems! I'll get to it after I send out my stuff and vet my email.

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  13. This started as a kid poem, but it didn't go there, so I modified a bit. Now it's just depressing. LOL

    I wake up, dread
    getting up. Dressed, fed, brushed
    and groomed, I'm off to work, can't get ahead.
    So rushed, rushed, rushed
    all day long, keep
    up and follow, like sheep,
    till back to bed.

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    1. yes it is a bit depressing but it is reality. well done!

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    2. yep, sometimes I just want to stay in bed because I know it's going to be one of "those" days! You described it well!

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    3. Unknown is me, Linda, again!

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    4. sometimes getting out of bed can be a terrible mistake wolfie. can lead to all kinds of trouble - pulling the blankets up nice and tight - paul.

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    5. REminds me of me some days, ah, to be a kid with no responsibilities...Oh well, sometimes the old days look better from the future and the past glitters like pyrite.

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  14. there was a feast on Jupiter
    that day so long ago
    ran out of fuel on Saturn
    the natives played some wild songs
    did some bongs of flugg on Mars
    but, I missed the planet of my birth
    when I saw the green and blue of earth!

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    1. How in the heck I became "Unknown" I will never know but this is Linda!!! I'll try to get my name up this time!

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    2. love it! fun but also a lovely write. but unknown :-) maybe you should go to Cheers where everyone knows your name... he he he

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    3. stop being unknown wolfie. little story. i knew a nice, but very daft woman called chelsea. who didn't understand anything at all. i tried explaining that jupiter was a massive gas giant planet. mostly hydrogen and helium, with at least 26 moons and rings.....she looked at me and said " so it's a big shiny thing in the sky? " i said " yes chelsea. it's a big shiny thing in the sky" she was so pleased that she got something right......in many ways, she is right. jupiter is a big shiny thing - bongs on mars - love paul.

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    4. So YOU'RE "Unknown." I've read a lot of your poetry! LOL. I like this one.

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  15. Living

    Many years ago
    I was born in Manhattan.
    I didn't stay long.
    We moved to Massachusetts
    Where I spent much of my life
    And I do love it
    Though I'd be okay to move.

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    1. this doesn't fit the prompt as written

      I was born in Manhattan
      many years ago
      didn't stay long
      spent much of my life
      in the new place
      though I'd be okay to move
      Massachusetts is now my home

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    2. OK, I thought moving to anotther place was being in a differen place, so I ues I was incorrect. YOur restructuring was very kind.

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  16. Dying

    When it is my time
    I hope to die in my bed
    Surrounded by love
    Although to be sure I hope
    That I will be much older.
    And then let go
    With a sigh and a prayer.

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    1. same with this one...

      I hope to die in bed
      surrounded by love
      when it's my time to go
      Although I hope to be older
      then let go
      my spirit move on to other planes

      start one place and end up in another

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    2. Guess I was just not literal enough, thanks.

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    3. it has to do with the style requested... start in one place (line 1) and end up in another place (line 7).

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    4. bonita is right tash. they don't fit the promt, but we are rebels and break all the rules ha ha - love paul.

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  17. A bit late with my extended Tankas.

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