Woops, that's supposed to be Yesterday, Today and tomorrow or all at once!!! Apologies for lack of attention, it's been a horrendous day--only in the frustration, though... Looking forward to the poems.
awesome as usual... the first time I read this poem it left me with so many emotions I had to wait and come back and read it again and it still packs a powerful punch. this is brilliant!
went out last night on a date of course she was late a slightly crazy lady called marie
she said it was fate. we were meant to be the vodka made her drunk as a skunk made her nuts and fall i caught her and smashed my head off the wall blood everywhere and couldn't see a typical date for me weird women, who'll sit and stare
spent twenty hours in the hospital getting concussion and twelve stiches in my head everything in this room is covered in red blood in my spital, a little
don't go shopping with concussion you'll come back with womens shoes and a pin cussion
tomorrow should be a strain getting the wrong bus and train....in the rain hope i don't end up in the horror of fellgate again.
all this happened over the weekend......i knew getting out of bed was a bad idea
Paul, I moved your poem because you posted it as a comment of another post. That makes it difficult for others to comment on your poem and hard to follow the "train" of the page. I broke the rule that said I would delete it because the comment was not on another poem. That is just plain disrespectful and rude to the poet whose thread that is stolen.
No it wasn't … you are so sweet Tad but Paul does this all the time and I did ask him to move it himself. he refused and said he would post his poems wherever we wanted and we had too many rules on this page.
If his response to being told the poem was in a comment was to apologize and ask me to move it, that would say it's an accident. Telling us we have too many rules makes it intentional.
He must be embarrassed or something because he usually comments on all of his comments. This is a pretty good poem after all. It is a "Paul Fowler" poem. And I am sure you who know him, know what I mean. You get better and better all the time, Paul.
Duly Noted, Paul has has had a concussion just prior to posting, with many stitches in his head, and therefore might not be said to be in his best state of mind, which might explain his comments. Just sayin'...
Sigh. You tell it well, I only wish for you that you didn't have to attract these crazy beings, for whom you feel sorry, until it turns so badly on you that you get wounded...again! Bless you.
Tasha this is not the first time... he does it just about every time...usually to Tad's poems and Vic deletes them. And seriously if he had as many concussions as he said he has had he would be in a nursing home drooling in his applesauce having his diapers changed. You have known him as long as I have and know how he embellishes and exaggerates to get pity and attention. I have had enough of his BS.
eeerrr i've told you more times than i can remember that i don't get technology. with concussion ( the doc's said it was concussion and after getting on the wrong trains several times, i was inclined to agree ) i mostly don't want attention and some of your texts have been very rude. not answering, when you know of the current nightmare i am trying to escape from and knowing how much it costs me to text america is even more rude. if this might be posted in slightly the wrong place....well fucking excuuuuuuuse me. got a lunatic jailbird stalking me at the moment. woke up with her hands round my neck saying " i have to kill you. i love you. so you will never look at another woman. first time i met her i ended up in hospital. so if my poem is 10 inches away from where it is supposed to be, forgive me if i don't give it top priority. no idea how to cut and paste, or move things around. how many times do i have to tell you this. do you ever listen to me? you contact me. 'cos i'm sick of sending unanswered texts at 50 cents a text - take care - paul.
thanks for moving it for me victoria. nothing disrespectful about it. i just pressed the wrong button. i'm good at pressing the wrong buttons....in more ways than one. my week was filled with hospitals and insanity - love and peace - paul.
sorry for the same old same old bonita...eeerrr not in the mood to do a happy. bouncy, dancey poem. depression and psychotic women tend to bring me down. i'll do a puppies and flowers poem next ok, with some butterflies in it.....NOT!
thanks wolfie. i only have limited time on the library computers and it's a 30 mile round trip to get here and back. no idea how computers work and frankly i don't want to know. more on my mind than twittering, facebooking and spending 20 mins trying to figure out which is the right button with concussion. thanks for reading - love - paul.
yep. an accident tad. which bonita has blown out of all proportion for some reason. i'll try and find the right button on strange computers in a library that keep fu**ing up. then spend the rest of my life on trains and fending off crazy women......sigh.
thanks tash. i think all the sane women are married ha ha. this one is nuttier than a squirrel. tell bonita, when i have something happy to write about, i'll write it. but i'm not making stuff up, just to get a smile. if i feel like s**t, then i write about it - love and peace - paul.
Paul you complain about having to do that trip to the library and told me the rest of us get to sit in our cozy houses using our computers. instead of complaining and acting like we are spoiled spend some that huge sum of money you got for selling your mothers house and by a fricking computer!
and i'm not asking you to write something happy but quit bitching about how awful all the women are in your life when you hang with prostitutes. what the hell do you expect?
a computer? another bill to pay. another thing to get stolen the first time my back is turned. you know how many phones and how many other things i've had stolen, while on the road?
At school in fall, the new year begins. I dream of the summer just ended. A gentle breeze drifts through my backyard, I play outside with Sue, Bob and Joe.
I dream of the summer just ended, as cool winds bring fall, piles of leaves. I play outside with Sue, Bob, and Joe. We dream of Christmas getting closer
as cool winds bring fall, piles of leaves, Halloween treats, Thanksgiving turkey. We dream of Christmas getting closer, presents, Santa, cousins and cookies.
Halloween treats, Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas is gone in a finger snap, presents, Santa, cousins and cookies. I dream of spring when the world turns green.
Christmas is gone in a finger snap, but winter stays forever, cold, brown. I dream of spring when the world turns green, summer’s lazy days still far away.
But winter stays forever, cold, brown. Snow finally melts, sprouts peep from earth, summer’s lazy days still far away, green smells, jackets left behind, sunshine.
Snow finally melts, sprouts peep from earth. I dream of summer when school is out. Green smells, jackets left behind, sunshine, the last bell of the school year ringing.
I dream of summer when school is out, the long lazy days finally here. The last bell of the school year ringing, I dream of hanging out with my friends.
Long days of summer finally here, a gentle breeze drifts through my backyard. I dream of hanging out with my friends at school in fall. The new year begins.
Wow. I must have really missed the mark on what I was trying to say. LOL. I was trying to get across that the kid was always looking ahead to the next event instead of enjoying the present. Sigh...
no you didn't miss the mark... speaking for myself I got that but there is more to this poem than I think you intended. different age groups read it differently and it has many different levels. for me it is how quickly time passes and we don't realize it until one day it's gone and we are old and our last winter is suddenly upon us.
A lovely poem and very typical of how children think. Ever see a dear book called "What comes next?" much like your poem only a book, with the theme of the cycle of the holidays at its core, and beautiful illustrations. My children loved it.
Victoria, As usual, your poem is very much enjoyable. I can see what you mean and what you were shooting for but, I can see a lot more in it than I think you intended.
Ten years ago we met on a poetry site you in England me in America exchanged emails then text messages wrote a book together shared each others ups and downs
We grew as friends then grew apart you drank too much did too many drugs became a different person one I didn't know but even more one I didn't want to know
you became a legend in your own mind when you weren't having a pity party you were living a pipe dream your anger turned on me it's time to say good-bye
our friendship died long ago we just kept trying to hang on to a yesterday that no longer exists but as Chad and Jeremy once said that was yesterday but yesterdays gone
Linda Rivas BoleNovember 9, 2018 at 1:04 PM This poem is very well written. You packed 10 years into 20 lines...approximately 120 words! I loved it! I especially liked the lines, 15, 16 and 17 because they tell the personality of the person in question and you didn't have to actually tell us that you were describing the person. Nice!!
longer than ten years actually bonita. wow! my life fell apart. i had 7 disasterous relationships in a row. my dog died i got arrested and locked up. i spent 5 years on the road. i lost my house and all my possessions. i'm dating a lunatic. my guts are falling out. sorry for not being all perky and funny all the time. i believe we can still be friends, but if you aren't interested, that's up to you. i wont go to the post office to post your latest letter, till you decide. you want me to paint on the happy clown face, in the middle of this nightmare?? you always lose interest in me, when i'm down.....give me one reason to be up! - still like you bonita. but unless you get in touch, i'm not wasting any more money on unanswered texts and letters - paul.
first of all you went to jail for attacking your elderly neighbor with an implement. you were attacking his wife when he stepped between and he ended up in the hospital so don't make it sound like you are innocent of any wrong doing. as usual you were drunk out of your mind. 2nd your relationships are only disastrous as you put it because you date? drunken prostitutes and call them your girlfriends then get all oh poor me my girlfriend is selling her body to other men... what the hell do you expect? that's what prostitutes do! No I don't lose interest in you when you are down... I lose interest when you start with your poor pitiful me I am the only one in the world with problems... 7 so called disastrous relationships is a drop in the bucket! You even told me once when you get drunk you embellish and exaggerate events because you're feeling sorry for yourself and want others to join in. I don't join in is all and then you get abusive. I have taken enough. as for always being happy and writing happy stuff I don't expect that but I do expect you to stop this poor poor me crap and figure out the rest of us have a lot more problems than you do my friend. living on the road for 5 years... uh no you didn't... you always had a place to live even if it wasn't the swanky accommodations you were used to. no don't write me or text me or email me. I have had enough of your lies and expecting me to be like the rest of your 'women' and fall for your unbelievable stories and not call you out on them. have a good life. I will respect the poetry site and comment on your poems but I will not give up anymore of my ti
you really have no idea of my life do you bonita. i hadn't had a drink in years, till my shitbag neiobour poisend my beloved dog, after killing my frogs by salting the pond and already making threats to poison her. life on the road means living in squalid hovels with scum five to a room up and down the country and sometimes in car parks after your latest flame sells everything you own and changes addresses while you are out. as for the rest of it, i think you are talking about somebody else. believe me there is no need to embellish this stuff. the truth is bad enough. i never even told you the worst stuff. i don't have a " woman " as you put it. i know some psycho's though. this was only last week, so you should remember. the first date i had with marie ended with me in the hospital and 15 stitches in my head....eeerrr that's about typical.
was it only yesterday that I turned five years old and will it be tomorrow that I will turn fifteen budding like a tree in Spring has Winter crept upon me quickly, so silently speedy that I never noticed the strands of silver and the leaves falling leaving naked memories in drifted snow...
This poem is very well written. You packed 10 years into 20 lines...approximately 120 words! I loved it! I especially liked the lines, 15, 16 and 17 because they tell the personality of the person in question and you didn't have to actually tell us that you were describing the person. Nice!!
This comment was intended to go under Bonnie's poem but, somehow it ended up here. I don't know what happened and I don't have the option to delete. Sorry folks. Anyway, this is the comment to Bonnie's poem. I am going to try to comment on the rest of the poems; I hope the comments end up in the right places. Thank you, Linda
instead of the semi-colon in the second line I would have stopped at dandelions and started the 3rd line with today... would flow more smoothly. needs work to remove some of the redundancy but could be a good poem
What if you found some concrete images to give the reader a feeling for what you’re living through, instead of the abstractions? What if we see something the grandmother is looking back at? What if we get something that she’s going to be wondering about tomorrow? What if we could see a place where what is to come is arriving at? What if you didn’t worry about whether anyone will understand what you’re trying to say?
Hi guys, It's me, Paul B. I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything for awhile. I don't even know how long it's been. I ruptured another disc and the pain is gnawing on me and I have nothing to alleviate the pain. I will try to post something this week. Again, sorry. Paul B.
Have you tried homeopathic arnica? It can be helpful. Most Health food sores carry it now., and even some drugstores. Wishing you well, sad for your pain.
Woops, that's supposed to be Yesterday, Today and tomorrow or all at once!!! Apologies for lack of attention, it's been a horrendous day--only in the frustration, though... Looking
ReplyDeleteforward to the poems.
Changed the title at least.
DeleteThanks, sorry about the mixup. Many thanks for changing it. I've been gone all week hence late posting. Looking forward to your comments.
DeleteNow yesterday is
ReplyDeleteFighting back
With the ferocity
Of a bear
Wakened from winter
she won’t give ground
she’s protecting her turf
JFK
is still president
Buddy Holly
waiting for that plane ride
and I have
a world of choices
could call that girl
could hitchhike to Frisco
City Lights
Kerouac Ginsberg
maybe New York
storm the Brill Building
Carole King
Lieber and Stoller
give me a chance
but the old bear shrugs and
waddles off
it’s today again
awesome as usual... the first time I read this poem it left me with so many emotions I had to wait and come back and read it again and it still packs a powerful punch. this is brilliant!
DeleteThis is so powerful, it choked me up. You managed to capture that feeling we all get as we let the past overwhelm us sometimes.
DeleteI really enjoyed this poem. I loved the history you incorporate into your work. It really makes for some deep and interesting poetry!
DeleteSuch a good poet you are, and so very clever in your metaphor! Nice peek at your past, too. Good job.
DeleteTad, I really enjoyed your poem. You do such a good job, your poems are truly great.
Delete24 HOURS
ReplyDeletewent out last night on a date
of course she was late
a slightly crazy lady called marie
she said it was fate. we were meant to be
the vodka made her drunk
as a skunk
made her nuts and fall
i caught her and smashed my head off the wall
blood everywhere
and couldn't see
a typical date for me
weird women, who'll sit and stare
spent twenty hours in the hospital
getting concussion and twelve stiches in my head
everything in this room is covered in red
blood in my spital, a little
don't go shopping with concussion
you'll come back with womens shoes and a pin cussion
tomorrow should be a strain
getting the wrong bus and train....in the rain
hope i don't end up in the horror of fellgate again.
all this happened over the weekend......i knew getting out of bed was a bad idea
Paul, I moved your poem because you posted it as a comment of another post. That makes it difficult for others to comment on your poem and hard to follow the "train" of the page. I broke the rule that said I would delete it because the comment was not on another poem. That is just plain disrespectful and rude to the poet whose thread that is stolen.
DeleteWas probably an accident, rather than disrespectful.
DeleteNo it wasn't … you are so sweet Tad but Paul does this all the time and I did ask him to move it himself. he refused and said he would post his poems wherever we wanted and we had too many rules on this page.
DeleteIf his response to being told the poem was in a comment was to apologize and ask me to move it, that would say it's an accident. Telling us we have too many rules makes it intentional.
DeleteWow. I had no idea.
DeleteHe must be embarrassed or something because he usually comments on all of his comments. This is a pretty good poem after all. It is a "Paul Fowler" poem. And I am sure you who know him, know what I mean. You get better and better all the time, Paul.
Deleteyou are right about one thing Linda. This is a typical Paul Fowler poem... sigh... would like to see something different than the same old same old...
DeleteDuly Noted, Paul has has had a concussion just prior to posting, with many stitches in his head, and therefore might not be said to be in his best state of mind, which might explain his comments. Just sayin'...
DeleteSigh. You tell it well, I only wish for you that you didn't have to attract these crazy beings, for whom you feel sorry, until it turns so badly on you that you get wounded...again! Bless you.
DeleteTasha this is not the first time... he does it just about every time...usually to Tad's poems and Vic deletes them. And seriously if he had as many concussions as he said he has had he would be in a nursing home drooling in his applesauce having his diapers changed. You have known him as long as I have and know how he embellishes and exaggerates to get pity and attention. I have had enough of his BS.
DeletePaul, You seem to attract the strangest women. LOL
Deleteeeerrr i've told you more times than i can remember that i don't get technology. with concussion ( the doc's said it was concussion and after getting on the wrong trains several times, i was inclined to agree ) i mostly don't want attention and some of your texts have been very rude. not answering, when you know of the current nightmare i am trying to escape from and knowing how much it costs me to text america is even more rude. if this might be posted in slightly the wrong place....well fucking excuuuuuuuse me. got a lunatic jailbird stalking me at the moment. woke up with her hands round my neck saying " i have to kill you. i love you. so you will never look at another woman. first time i met her i ended up in hospital. so if my poem is 10 inches away from where it is supposed to be, forgive me if i don't give it top priority. no idea how to cut and paste, or move things around. how many times do i have to tell you this. do you ever listen to me? you contact me. 'cos i'm sick of sending unanswered texts at 50 cents a text - take care - paul.
Deletethanks for moving it for me victoria. nothing disrespectful about it. i just pressed the wrong button. i'm good at pressing the wrong buttons....in more ways than one. my week was filled with hospitals and insanity - love and peace - paul.
Deletesorry for the same old same old bonita...eeerrr not in the mood to do a happy. bouncy, dancey poem. depression and psychotic women tend to bring me down. i'll do a puppies and flowers poem next ok, with some butterflies in it.....NOT!
Deletethanks wolfie. i only have limited time on the library computers and it's a 30 mile round trip to get here and back. no idea how computers work and frankly i don't want to know. more on my mind than twittering, facebooking and spending 20 mins trying to figure out which is the right button with concussion. thanks for reading - love - paul.
Deleteyep. an accident tad. which bonita has blown out of all proportion for some reason. i'll try and find the right button on strange computers in a library that keep fu**ing up. then spend the rest of my life on trains and fending off crazy women......sigh.
Deletethanks tash. i think all the sane women are married ha ha. this one is nuttier than a squirrel. tell bonita, when i have something happy to write about, i'll write it. but i'm not making stuff up, just to get a smile. if i feel like s**t, then i write about it - love and peace - paul.
Deleteyou've no idea how strange paul - the other paul.
DeletePaul you complain about having to do that trip to the library and told me the rest of us get to sit in our cozy houses using our computers. instead of complaining and acting like we are spoiled spend some that huge sum of money you got for selling your mothers house and by a fricking computer!
Deleteand i'm not asking you to write something happy but quit bitching about how awful all the women are in your life when you hang with prostitutes. what the hell do you expect?
Deletea computer? another bill to pay. another thing to get stolen the first time my back is turned. you know how many phones and how many other things i've had stolen, while on the road?
Deletei say it as i see it. a decent, non cheating, non money grabbing selfish drug addled woman within a mile of my flat, would be as rare as dodo eggs.
DeleteAnother kid poem.
ReplyDeleteDAYDREAMING
a pantoum
At school in fall, the new year begins.
I dream of the summer just ended.
A gentle breeze drifts through my backyard,
I play outside with Sue, Bob and Joe.
I dream of the summer just ended,
as cool winds bring fall, piles of leaves.
I play outside with Sue, Bob, and Joe.
We dream of Christmas getting closer
as cool winds bring fall, piles of leaves,
Halloween treats, Thanksgiving turkey.
We dream of Christmas getting closer,
presents, Santa, cousins and cookies.
Halloween treats, Thanksgiving turkey,
Christmas is gone in a finger snap,
presents, Santa, cousins and cookies.
I dream of spring when the world turns green.
Christmas is gone in a finger snap,
but winter stays forever, cold, brown.
I dream of spring when the world turns green,
summer’s lazy days still far away.
But winter stays forever, cold, brown.
Snow finally melts, sprouts peep from earth,
summer’s lazy days still far away,
green smells, jackets left behind, sunshine.
Snow finally melts, sprouts peep from earth.
I dream of summer when school is out.
Green smells, jackets left behind, sunshine,
the last bell of the school year ringing.
I dream of summer when school is out,
the long lazy days finally here.
The last bell of the school year ringing,
I dream of hanging out with my friends.
Long days of summer finally here,
a gentle breeze drifts through my backyard.
I dream of hanging out with my friends
at school in fall. The new year begins.
I love this one... so sweet and nostalgic and I still feel this way as each season moves on... a lovely write
DeleteAwwwwwwwww This is so sweet that I can almost smell the air of summertime! Beautiful!
DeleteWow. I must have really missed the mark on what I was trying to say. LOL. I was trying to get across that the kid was always looking ahead to the next event instead of enjoying the present. Sigh...
Deleteno you didn't miss the mark... speaking for myself I got that but there is more to this poem than I think you intended. different age groups read it differently and it has many different levels. for me it is how quickly time passes and we don't realize it until one day it's gone and we are old and our last winter is suddenly upon us.
DeleteA lovely poem and very typical of how children think. Ever see a dear book called "What comes next?" much like your poem only a book, with the theme of the cycle of the holidays at its core, and beautiful illustrations. My children loved it.
DeleteVictoria, As usual, your poem is very much enjoyable. I can see what you mean and what you were shooting for but, I can see a lot more in it than I think you intended.
Deletei dream of spring too victoria. it seems to arrive later every year - geese heading south - love - paul.
DeleteTen years ago we met on a poetry site
ReplyDeleteyou in England me in America
exchanged emails then text messages
wrote a book together
shared each others ups and downs
We grew as friends then grew apart
you drank too much did too many drugs
became a different person
one I didn't know but even more
one I didn't want to know
you became a legend in your own mind
when you weren't having a pity party
you were living a pipe dream
your anger turned on me
it's time to say good-bye
our friendship died long ago
we just kept trying to hang on
to a yesterday that no longer exists
but as Chad and Jeremy once said
that was yesterday but yesterdays gone
See below for my comment. It was displaced.
DeleteLinda Rivas BoleNovember 9, 2018 at 1:04 PM
DeleteThis poem is very well written. You packed 10 years into 20 lines...approximately 120 words! I loved it! I especially liked the lines, 15, 16 and 17 because they tell the personality of the person in question and you didn't have to actually tell us that you were describing the person. Nice!!
Sorry for what happened for you. Good poem, though. I think you intended an apostrophe in Yesterday's gone, yes?
Deletesigh...yes
DeleteBonnie, I can totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes things just don't work out no matter how hard of an effort you put into it.
Deletelonger than ten years actually bonita. wow! my life fell apart. i had 7 disasterous relationships in a row. my dog died i got arrested and locked up. i spent 5 years on the road. i lost my house and all my possessions. i'm dating a lunatic. my guts are falling out. sorry for not being all perky and funny all the time. i believe we can still be friends, but if you aren't interested, that's up to you. i wont go to the post office to post your latest letter, till you decide. you want me to paint on the happy clown face, in the middle of this nightmare?? you always lose interest in me, when i'm down.....give me one reason to be up! - still like you bonita. but unless you get in touch, i'm not wasting any more money on unanswered texts and letters - paul.
Deletefirst of all you went to jail for attacking your elderly neighbor with an implement. you were attacking his wife when he stepped between and he ended up in the hospital so don't make it sound like you are innocent of any wrong doing. as usual you were drunk out of your mind. 2nd your relationships are only disastrous as you put it because you date? drunken prostitutes and call them your girlfriends then get all oh poor me my girlfriend is selling her body to other men... what the hell do you expect? that's what prostitutes do! No I don't lose interest in you when you are down... I lose interest when you start with your poor pitiful me I am the only one in the world with problems... 7 so called disastrous relationships is a drop in the bucket! You even told me once when you get drunk you embellish and exaggerate events because you're feeling sorry for yourself and want others to join in. I don't join in is all and then you get abusive. I have taken enough. as for always being happy and writing happy stuff I don't expect that but I do expect you to stop this poor poor me crap and figure out the rest of us have a lot more problems than you do my friend. living on the road for 5 years... uh no you didn't... you always had a place to live even if it wasn't the swanky accommodations you were used to. no don't write me or text me or email me. I have had enough of your lies and expecting me to be like the rest of your 'women' and fall for your unbelievable stories and not call you out on them. have a good life. I will respect the poetry site and comment on your poems but I will not give up anymore of my ti
Deletetime I have left on your nonsense.
Deleteyou really have no idea of my life do you bonita. i hadn't had a drink in years, till my shitbag neiobour poisend my beloved dog, after killing my frogs by salting the pond and already making threats to poison her. life on the road means living in squalid hovels with scum five to a room up and down the country and sometimes in car parks after your latest flame sells everything you own and changes addresses while you are out. as for the rest of it, i think you are talking about somebody else. believe me there is no need to embellish this stuff. the truth is bad enough. i never even told you the worst stuff. i don't have a " woman " as you put it. i know some psycho's though. this was only last week, so you should remember. the first date i had with marie ended with me in the hospital and 15 stitches in my head....eeerrr that's about typical.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deletewas it only yesterday
ReplyDeletethat I turned five years old
and will it be tomorrow
that I will turn fifteen
budding like a tree in Spring
has Winter crept upon me
quickly, so silently speedy
that I never noticed the
strands of silver
and the leaves falling
leaving naked memories
in drifted snow...
wow! this is beautiful!
DeleteOMG, this is awesome. Gave me chills. Very well written.
DeleteGorgeous poem, and not unlike the one I wrote before I even saw it. Two minds, one thought, and many ways to say.
Deletefour seasons in one day wolfie
DeleteThis poem is very well written. You packed 10 years into 20 lines...approximately 120 words! I loved it! I especially liked the lines, 15, 16 and 17 because they tell the personality of the person in question and you didn't have to actually tell us that you were describing the person. Nice!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment was intended to go under Bonnie's poem but, somehow it ended up here. I don't know what happened and I don't have the option to delete. Sorry folks. Anyway, this is the comment to Bonnie's poem. I am going to try to comment on the rest of the poems; I hope the comments end up in the right places. Thank you, Linda
DeleteThree Senryu
ReplyDeleteYesterday is not,
not a day but a riddle.
When is the answer?
Today is here now.
It is really all I have.
It is always here.
Tomorrow exists
only in plans, hopes and fears
until it is now.
I think this would work better without the double not in the first verse and ending the last with until it is today.
DeleteTasha, you did a good job fitting in yesterday, today and tomorrow.
DeleteIt probably might, however then it wouldn't have the traditional 5-7-5 syllable form.
Delete" all we have is now......all we'll ever have is now " - the flaming lips - love - paul.
DeleteBeen away. Got back yesterday. Posting Now!
ReplyDeleteAll the Time
ReplyDeleteYesterday I was a little girl
picking dandelions; today
I am a grandmother
looking back to see
how far I have come.
Tomorrow I will be wondering
where all my yesterdays have gone.
And yet as all time is one
and there is just the now
I have today only.
Thus I must recognize
that nothing has truly past
and that what is to come
has already arrived
and awaits me here.
instead of the semi-colon in the second line I would have stopped at dandelions and started the 3rd line with today... would flow more smoothly. needs work to remove some of the redundancy but could be a good poem
Deleteand did you mean passed in lieu of past?
DeleteTasha, I think Bonnie is right about the word passed and past. You meant to use the word passed. But the substance of the poem was fun to read.
DeleteWhat if you found some concrete images to give the reader a feeling for what you’re living through, instead of the abstractions? What if we see something the grandmother is looking back at?
DeleteWhat if we get something that she’s going to be wondering about tomorrow?
What if we could see a place where what is to come is arriving at?
What if you didn’t worry about whether anyone will understand what you’re trying to say?
Great commentary and good ideas. I will give them some thought and perhaps I will one day post another poem to reflect them .
DeleteYes, of course it ought to have been passed. Thanks for pointing it out.
Deletenice one tash. wouldn't want many of my yesterdays back actually...eeerrrr tomorrow is looking a bit dodgy too ha ha - love - paul.
DeleteHi guys, It's me, Paul B. I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything for awhile. I don't even know how long it's been. I ruptured another disc and the pain is gnawing on me and I have nothing to alleviate the pain. I will try to post something this week. Again, sorry. Paul B.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried homeopathic arnica? It can be helpful. Most Health food sores carry it now., and even some drugstores. Wishing you well, sad for your pain.
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