little red-haired cowboys born in June why did you grow-up so fast what are the days so summer time past when you laid on the ground eating stems of grass when you brought me stolen flowers from neighbors yards in June when you stayed up past dark just to watch the full moon little red haired cowboys why did you leave me so soon to start your own lives with wives and children what play in the grass in June...
I have so many typos in my poem that it rates rewriting sorry for the problem.
little red haired cowboys born in June why did you grow-up so fast where are the days of summer time past when you laid on the ground eating stems of grass when you brought me stolen flowers from neighbors yards in June when you stayed up past dark just to watch the full moon little red haired cowboys why did you leave me so soon to start your own lives with wives and children that play in the grass in June...
June Cleaver mom to the Beaver thought Ward Cleaver would never leave her. But when he met Tabitha Weaver to June Cleaver he took a clever over a cliff he did heave her goodbye June Cleaver.
LMAO. Funny. Is "Tabitha Weaver" just someone you made up or was she part of the show. And I was going to mention the "clever/cleaver" but you caught it first!
It's strange, Midsummer is the beginning of the end the sun high in the sky is beginning its descent, and in the bright, the light, the sight of summer warming the earth the seed of its sleep is planted deep in the heat of days bleating of bursting growth, ripe berries, fruit juicy hanging on branches burdened with its weight, freight of June swelling in the sun of Midsummer beginning the beginning of the end.
It's strange, Midsummer is the beginning of the end sun high in sky beginning its descent; in bright, light, sight of summer warming earth seed of its sleep is planted deep in heat of days bleating of bursting growth, ripe berries, fruit juicy hanging on branches burdened with its weight, freight of June swelling in sun of Midsummer beginning the beginning of the end.
Midsummer begins and ends sun high in the sky starts its descent in brilliant light a glimpse as summer warms earth's seeds in their sleep planted deep in heat.... etc
just a rough draft but it cleans it up a bit too many ing words and too many words with the same rhyme in a row;.. bright light sight
it's just my opinion - we all have different things we like in poetry and what makes a poem a poem
Thanks, I appreciate your ideas, however I am quite satisfied with my current version, as I like the cadence of the lines even if they perhaps seem wordy to you, and the repetitive rhyme is part of that. Just my taste, as you say.
I love the jacketless days of June I fancy fairies where flowers bloom tiny birds of many colors sing to me in the morning mother earth is lush with greenery like a lovely woman preened for an evening on the town roses bloom in mother's hair and I, I leave my jacket home now whenever I go out and my socks are abandoned till fall...
I hate to spoil your illusion but I am a flip flop kid. I wear flip flops from May until November. I do love to go barefoot in the lawn or the sand though. LOL
LOL. I pictured you wandering barefoot too. But that was me who always went barefoot. I remember mom getting so mad at me because I'd just run out of my 10 cent flip flops and leave them behind.
this is lovely! the imagery is wonderful.. especially these lines... mother earth is lush with greenery like a lovely woman preened for an evening on the town
It's June and the grass grows thick the sun gets hot and I sweat, you know Especially when I mow that lawn I'd really rather have December and snow
I'm not one of those people who complains about the blustery cold weather I like to be in the house watching movies with my wife snuggled together
The sun just gives me skin cancer even if I wear a hat I don't tan, I just turn red if you can imagine that
So when summer comes around you see I'm as uncomfortable as a big brown bear because I'd rather see it snow since I feel like I'm wearing a coat made of hair
Love the coat made of hair image! I agree, actually, I prefer winter to summer, sad to say. Most people think I'm daft. Cute poem, nice to have a giggle.
little red-haired cowboys
ReplyDeleteborn in June
why did you grow-up
so fast
what are the days
so summer time past
when you
laid on the ground
eating stems
of grass
when you brought
me stolen flowers
from neighbors yards
in June
when you stayed up
past dark
just to watch
the full moon
little red haired cowboys
why did you leave me
so soon
to start your own lives
with wives and children
what play in the grass
in June...
where are the days
ReplyDeleteof summer time past
when you
laid on the ground
sorry for the typo. I could have sworn I re-read it and it was perfect. But, oh well. I am not perfect.
I have so many typos in my poem that it rates rewriting sorry for the problem.
ReplyDeletelittle red haired cowboys
born in June
why did you grow-up
so fast
where are the days
of summer time past
when you
laid on the ground
eating stems
of grass
when you brought
me stolen flowers
from neighbors yards
in June
when you stayed up
past dark
just to watch
the full moon
little red haired cowboys
why did you leave me
so soon
to start your own lives
with wives and children
that play in the grass
in June...
Sweet indeed, and loving, like ou! Thanks for this sharing.
DeleteBeautiful and has such a nice feeling of melancholy. Yes, they do grow up so fast.
DeleteThank you for the nice comments. As soon as I saw the word June I my poem came pouring out. June 25 and June 26 are my two red haired son's birthdays.
Deleteso sweet and so sad... left me with a tear in my eye an a lump in my throat... i remember those cowboys... time made them grow up too fast.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the beautiful comment. I had a lump in my throat as I wrote it...
DeleteJune Cleaver
ReplyDeletemom to the Beaver
thought Ward Cleaver
would never leave her.
But when he met Tabitha Weaver
to June Cleaver
he took a clever
over a cliff he did heave her
goodbye June Cleaver.
Oh My! You have one well developed funny bone, Wheee!
Deletetypo!!! typo alert... should be cleaver not clever. sigh....
DeleteLMAO. Funny. Is "Tabitha Weaver" just someone you made up or was she part of the show. And I was going to mention the "clever/cleaver" but you caught it first!
Deletenah tabitha is just a fragment of my imagination
DeleteLMBO!!!!! I thought I would die first of shock then of laughter!! Leave 'er to Bonnie to write a poem about June...Cleaver....very clever.
ReplyDeleteJune Solstice
ReplyDeleteIt's strange,
Midsummer is the beginning of the end
the sun
high in the sky is beginning
its descent,
and in the bright, the light,
the sight
of summer warming the earth
the seed
of its sleep is planted deep
in the heat
of days bleating of bursting growth,
ripe berries,
fruit juicy hanging on branches
burdened
with its weight, freight of June
swelling
in the sun of Midsummer
beginning
the beginning of the end.
needs work but I like the thoughts and images it provokes
DeleteI agree with Bonnie. I like the internal rhyme, but too many "the"s
DeleteWell I deleted my first poem because I made mistakes too! However, I fixed them and then improved the poem, so it worked out ok.
ReplyDeleteMidsummer
ReplyDeleteIt's strange,
Midsummer is the beginning of the end
sun
high in sky beginning
its descent;
in bright, light,
sight
of summer warming earth
seed
of its sleep is planted deep
in heat
of days bleating of bursting growth,
ripe berries,
fruit juicy hanging on branches
burdened
with its weight, freight of June
swelling
in sun of Midsummer
beginning
the beginning of the end.
How's this?
ReplyDeleteI like it. I like the internal rhyme and the imagery of the juicy fruit hanging on the branches. It is the beginning of the end.
DeleteMidsummer begins and ends
ReplyDeletesun
high in the sky starts
its descent
in brilliant light
a glimpse
as summer warms earth's
seeds
in their sleep planted deep
in heat.... etc
just a rough draft but it cleans it up a bit
too many ing words and too many words with the same rhyme in a row;.. bright light sight
it's just my opinion - we all have different things we like in poetry and what makes a poem a poem
Thanks, I appreciate your ideas, however I am quite satisfied with my current version, as I like the cadence of the lines even if they perhaps seem wordy to you, and the repetitive rhyme is part of that. Just my taste, as you say.
DeleteI really like your version, Bonnie. It brings out everything to a point of understanding that Tasha didn't do in her version.
DeleteI love the
ReplyDeletejacketless days
of June
I fancy fairies
where flowers bloom
tiny birds
of many colors
sing to me
in the morning
mother earth
is lush with greenery
like a lovely
woman preened
for an evening
on the town
roses bloom
in mother's hair
and I,
I leave my jacket
home now
whenever I go out
and my socks
are abandoned
till fall...
Lovely indeed. I can just see you prancing about barefoot and free in the sunshine.
DeleteI hate to spoil your illusion but I am a flip flop kid. I wear flip flops from May until November. I do love to go barefoot in the lawn or the sand though. LOL
DeleteLOL. I pictured you wandering barefoot too. But that was me who always went barefoot. I remember mom getting so mad at me because I'd just run out of my 10 cent flip flops and leave them behind.
DeleteVery evocative.
Deletethis is lovely! the imagery is wonderful.. especially these lines...
ReplyDeletemother earth
is lush with greenery
like a lovely
woman preened
for an evening
on the town
the last lines made me smile
It's June and the grass grows thick
ReplyDeletethe sun gets hot and I sweat, you know
Especially when I mow that lawn
I'd really rather have December and snow
I'm not one of those people who complains
about the blustery cold weather
I like to be in the house watching movies
with my wife snuggled together
The sun just gives me skin cancer
even if I wear a hat
I don't tan, I just turn red
if you can imagine that
So when summer comes around you see
I'm as uncomfortable as a big brown bear
because I'd rather see it snow
since I feel like I'm wearing a coat made of hair
your poem made me chuckle as I do have to agree with you. I prefer the colder weather to the blistering hot sun.good write and a fun read.
DeleteLove the coat made of hair image! I agree, actually, I prefer winter to summer, sad to say. Most people think I'm daft. Cute poem, nice to have a giggle.
DeleteLOL. Chuck used to say the opposite, that at least he didn't have to shovel sunshine.
DeleteLydia Gayle Rivas
ReplyDeleteEvery June 16
I remember
my younger sister
Lydia's
birthday. Although I was
only seven
when she passed away.
Pass away
is not right. She was thrown
into darkness
by meningitis
convulsions
awaiting a doctor
who simply told
my mother, still
giving mouth to mouth
"This baby
is dead, ma'am." until she
stopped. June 16th
celebrates Lydia's
time alive.
Very moving.
ReplyDeleteso many emotions evoked as the memories overwhelmed me. what a strange and frightening time for us. I was 13.
ReplyDeleteOh My! Vivid and moving. Wow!
ReplyDelete