Jumbled within the confines of her scattered mind thoughts Crumbled and disintegrated too rapidly to hold or catch Tumbled over the ghosts once alive in empty spaces Humbled by suspicions that would grab and then detach.
Impressions cluttered and melted into past mistakes Possessions not hers to keep or pass along questions fueled the flames of her already demented mind Impressions left her lost where she did not belong.
This seems awfully sad to me. So much clutter leaving "her lost where she did not belong". It seems to me your last line is a very powerful line and the perfect way to end this piece. Beautifully sad!
Scary poem. But I love the form. At first I thought you were just saying to read it slowly like music (lento). But I figured I'd look up the form. I'll have to give it try.
Clutter is so basic for mankind clutter is always in my mind I try to clear it out sometimes but it just doesn't happen...
Clutter is all over my house I creep around here like a mouse I have to rout just to find a blouse we have to find a place to put things...
Clutter is all over this room I'd like to sweep it out with a broom but my husband looks at me with doom! So I don't move an amp or a guitar...
I can't sweep out the dog and cats I straightened clothes and this and that But when I want something, I don't know where it's at I've got to do something about this clutter...
lmbo!! oh boy can i relate to this scenario!! but with the steroids playing havoc with my body I have gone into a nesting syndrome and with the help of a friend have actually cleared out a lot of clutter and have the house livable... well all accept Keith's room which remains the inner sanctum but I have designs of getting in there and clearing out some of it today... heh heh heh... enjoyed this read as it made me smile :-)
So incredibly relatable! Reminds me of when I lived in my last apartment. It seemed there was nothing I could do with all that clutter-just lacked the space to put things. I noticed in this poem you repeat how you wish or you need to do something about it all but nothing ever seems to get done. A very well chosen repetition, but it also transfers feelings of anxiety to the reader. I enjoyed reading this.
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows Laundry needs to be folded I’m hungry But the dishes need to be washed Maybe I’ll just get takeout…. …again…. The Mona Lisa Has no eyebrows There are no clocks in a Las Vegas Casino In your head… In your head…. They are crying Perhaps I should pick up that guitar today The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows I want to go out I want to stay in… I guess I’m not a people person Or people just don’t like me What socially unacceptable thing am I doing? The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows My brain is in a blender And someone has just thrown the switch A glorious mess of my own brain smoothie Song lyrics…. Chores…. Social Anxiety…. Useless facts….. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows
awesome! I love this one! extreme clutter without having to use the word... I especially like the line my brain is in a blender... can totally relate to that line :-). and i love the repetition of the mona lisa has no eyebrows... you did a great job on this one!
Absolutely awesome, Meghan!!! You definitely have a cluttered mind there. A brain that won't shut down. I would imagine you sleep like that also... Great poem!!! I also like the repetition of the line "The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows" as it lends the poem more clutter!!
well done! every once in awhile I clear out the yellow sticky notes, napkins, envelopes with half thought ideas or lines for poems on them and either toss of finish. it's a poets dream and nightmare :-)
As one who loves to organize It seems I've had to learn that other people's clutter cannot be mine to discern. For clutter seeming piles or heaps upon another's table are his to organize at will whenever he is able.
My best beloved husband does not have my point of view nor see his vast accumulations as the clutter that I do. The lenses of perception dictate our reality and there is a mighty difference twixt his and mine you see.
His clutter is his treasure what he needs, or will, quite soon, his sentimental memories that play a soothing tune. I have learned to let his clutter be and just organize my own For love tells me to keep hands off and leave his stuff alone. Tasha Halpert
I was trying to comment on Victoria's Poem without success, so now it's under mine, which is why there is a delete where I wanted to post. Oh Well. I wanted to say it is very clever, and so like those little sticky notes--mine are actually on my computer screen rather than being separate pieces of paper, and they are very useful to be sure. I keep recycled paper clipped together and write notes on that, and yes, poetry prompts or article prompts as they occur. My grandmother used to cover the floor with notes to herself to do things. Sticky paper hadn't been invented. Reminders are good and clutter has its uses. Thanks again.
I think it's safe to say we all experience this. I have a notebook cluttered with tons of random ideas that are only half comolete. Love how you used this challenge to explain the realities of being a writer! Love this!
To Tasha: I am clueless about this reply thing and where to put the comment for your poem now. But I enjoyed your poem. I am not to touch my husbands precious "stuff" either!! If I do he swears I lost something or threw it away!
You just did, right there. Basically go to the box at the VERY BOTTOM of the blog and put it there. You shouldn't have to click on any "Reply" link.
BTW, since it's your turn next week, your choice: send me an email address (preferably gmail) and I will set you up to post it yourself, or you can send me your post and I will post it.
Your husband and mine are so similar when it comes to 'clutter' and I love this poem because it does epitomize the dilemma between those of us who organize neatly and those who organize in what looks like clutter to us :-). but they know where everything is and if we 'organize' it for them things are lost to them. there is a method to their madness :-). so i leave his room alone and organize and clean the rest of the house. lol
Love how you bring the perceptions of others into this poem. How some people don't see it as clutter while others do. "For love tells me to keep hands off" is an excellent line. The things we deal with for love eh? Beautiful work!
Love how you bring the perceptions of others into this poem. How some people don't see it as clutter while others do. "For love tells me to keep hands off" is an excellent line. The things we deal with for love eh? Beautiful work!
thank you Bonnie, I had a feeling we had similar situations, funny isn't it? Thank you Mehgan, you are so kind. I love it that you commented on a specific line.
Dear Victoria, I don't seem to have your email address in my book. Can you send it to me? I have a gmail account as tashahal@gmail.com Thanks! I have my topic all set. Perhaps you had better put it up for me as I am not always clever when it comes to posting. Thanks!
Just in case you didn't get my FB message or invite to co-author the blog, figured I'd mention it here so you could go check your gmail email. (There's a rhyme, LOL).
Cluttered (Lento)
ReplyDeleteJumbled within the confines of her scattered mind thoughts
Crumbled and disintegrated too rapidly to hold or catch
Tumbled over the ghosts once alive in empty spaces
Humbled by suspicions that would grab and then detach.
Impressions cluttered and melted into past mistakes
Possessions not hers to keep or pass along
questions fueled the flames of her already demented mind
Impressions left her lost where she did not belong.
This seems awfully sad to me. So much clutter leaving "her lost where she did not belong". It seems to me your last line is a very powerful line and the perfect way to end this piece. Beautifully sad!
DeleteScary poem. But I love the form. At first I thought you were just saying to read it slowly like music (lento). But I figured I'd look up the form. I'll have to give it try.
DeletePoignant. And very telling. Beautiful poem. Sad image. Good job.
DeleteThe lento lends a lot of passion and mystery to this poem. Very dark and serious. I enjoyed it very much!! Very nice, Bonnie!
ReplyDeleteClutter is so basic for mankind
ReplyDeleteclutter is always in my mind
I try to clear it out sometimes
but it just doesn't happen...
Clutter is all over my house
I creep around here like a mouse
I have to rout just to find a blouse
we have to find a place to put things...
Clutter is all over this room
I'd like to sweep it out with a broom
but my husband looks at me with doom!
So I don't move an amp or a guitar...
I can't sweep out the dog and cats
I straightened clothes and this and that
But when I want something, I don't know where it's at
I've got to do something about this clutter...
lmbo!! oh boy can i relate to this scenario!! but with the steroids playing havoc with my body I have gone into a nesting syndrome and with the help of a friend have actually cleared out a lot of clutter and have the house livable... well all accept Keith's room which remains the inner sanctum but I have designs of getting in there and clearing out some of it today... heh heh heh... enjoyed this read as it made me smile :-)
DeleteSo incredibly relatable! Reminds me of when I lived in my last apartment. It seemed there was nothing I could do with all that clutter-just lacked the space to put things. I noticed in this poem you repeat how you wish or you need to do something about it all but nothing ever seems to get done. A very well chosen repetition, but it also transfers feelings of anxiety to the reader. I enjoyed reading this.
DeleteLOL. It doesn't help. Everyone once in a while I clear out the clutter but it always seems to return.
DeleteBrain Smoothie
ReplyDeleteThe Mona Lisa has no eyebrows
Laundry needs to be folded
I’m hungry
But the dishes need to be washed
Maybe I’ll just get takeout….
…again….
The Mona Lisa Has no eyebrows
There are no clocks in a Las Vegas Casino
In your head…
In your head….
They are crying
Perhaps I should pick up that guitar today
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows
I want to go out
I want to stay in…
I guess I’m not a people person
Or people just don’t like me
What socially unacceptable thing am I doing?
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows
My brain is in a blender
And someone has just thrown the switch
A glorious mess of my own brain smoothie
Song lyrics….
Chores….
Social Anxiety….
Useless facts…..
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows
awesome! I love this one! extreme clutter without having to use the word... I especially like the line my brain is in a blender... can totally relate to that line :-). and i love the repetition of the mona lisa has no eyebrows... you did a great job on this one!
DeleteAbsolutely awesome, Meghan!!! You definitely have a cluttered mind there. A brain that won't shut down. I would imagine you sleep like that also... Great poem!!! I also like the repetition of the line "The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows" as it lends the poem more clutter!!
DeleteRandom thoughts was the closest I could come to clutter. Need to revise and edit a bit but I'm glad y'all enjoyed this!
DeleteI love it. It's like a poem that consists of clutter. And like the others, I love the refrain.
DeleteVery fine and most interesting. I liked the repetition of the Mona Lisa's Eyebrows bit, it pulls the poem together nicely.
DeleteClutter Poem
ReplyDeletea 5/4 poem
Phrases for poetry
clutter my mind.
Half-formed silhouettes,
ideas
like shingled sticky-notes,
camophlage lists,
important duties.
Must get done.
My mind considers, tries
to reveal them.
Each yellow paper
I remove
wants to be written, wants
its own poem.
The kitchen can wait.
well done! every once in awhile I clear out the yellow sticky notes, napkins, envelopes with half thought ideas or lines for poems on them and either toss of finish. it's a poets dream and nightmare :-)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteClutter
DeleteAs one who loves to organize
It seems I've had to learn
that other people's clutter
cannot be mine to discern.
For clutter seeming piles or heaps
upon another's table
are his to organize at will
whenever he is able.
My best beloved husband
does not have my point of view
nor see his vast accumulations
as the clutter that I do.
The lenses of perception
dictate our reality
and there is a mighty difference
twixt his and mine you see.
His clutter is his treasure
what he needs, or will, quite soon,
his sentimental memories
that play a soothing tune.
I have learned to let his clutter be
and just organize my own
For love tells me to keep hands off
and leave his stuff alone.
Tasha Halpert
I was trying to comment on Victoria's Poem without success, so now it's under mine, which is why there is a delete where I wanted to post. Oh Well. I wanted to say it is very clever, and so like those little sticky notes--mine are actually on my computer screen rather than being separate pieces of paper, and they are very useful to be sure. I keep recycled paper clipped together and write notes on that, and yes, poetry prompts or article prompts as they occur. My grandmother used to cover the floor with notes to herself to do things. Sticky paper hadn't been invented. Reminders are good and clutter has its uses. Thanks again.
DeleteI think it's safe to say we all experience this. I have a notebook cluttered with tons of random ideas that are only half comolete. Love how you used this challenge to explain the realities of being a writer! Love this!
DeleteThe kitchen can always wait!!. poetry is much more important than the kitchen!!! I love this poem!
DeleteTo Tasha: I am clueless about this reply thing and where to put the comment for your poem now. But I enjoyed your poem. I am not to touch my husbands precious "stuff" either!! If I do he swears I lost something or threw it away!
DeleteHow do I post without ending up as a reply? Help! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYou just did, right there. Basically go to the box at the VERY BOTTOM of the blog and put it there. You shouldn't have to click on any "Reply" link.
DeleteBTW, since it's your turn next week, your choice: send me an email address (preferably gmail) and I will set you up to post it yourself, or you can send me your post and I will post it.
Your husband and mine are so similar when it comes to 'clutter' and I love this poem because it does epitomize the dilemma between those of us who organize neatly and those who organize in what looks like clutter to us :-). but they know where everything is and if we 'organize' it for them things are lost to them. there is a method to their madness :-). so i leave his room alone and organize and clean the rest of the house. lol
DeleteLove how you bring the perceptions of others into this poem. How some people don't see it as clutter while others do. "For love tells me to keep hands off" is an excellent line. The things we deal with for love eh? Beautiful work!
DeleteLove how you bring the perceptions of others into this poem. How some people don't see it as clutter while others do. "For love tells me to keep hands off" is an excellent line. The things we deal with for love eh? Beautiful work!
Deletethank you Bonnie, I had a feeling we had similar situations, funny isn't it? Thank you Mehgan, you are so kind. I love it that you commented on a specific line.
DeleteDear Victoria, I don't seem to have your email address in my book. Can you send it to me? I have a gmail account as tashahal@gmail.com Thanks! I have my topic all set. Perhaps you had better put it up for me as I am not always clever when it comes to posting. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteJust in case you didn't get my FB message or invite to co-author the blog, figured I'd mention it here so you could go check your gmail email. (There's a rhyme, LOL).
Delete