I knew you would use hallucination one way or another. lol. may I correct your grammar? it's I saw not I seen... or was that intentional? otherwise I love the scenes set with each verse.
Wow. Awesome job on the word use. These kind of prompts drive me nuts. As well as what Bonnie said, you might want to change "was her eyes" to "were her eyes". It's her eyes that were jumping and eyes is plural.
gonna have to be straight up on the screen. no spell checks. no copies. no time. no rewrites.
TICK TOCK 10
a weeping willow tree on my pillow a tick tock clock and sad music bring me low like wile e coyote do i start running before i go? dancing to a strange bear and letting it be barking up the wrong tree with my out of tune dancing feet.
I moved it for you again. I'm impressed by how short of a poem you got with the words. I'll have to try to outdo you.
However, Once again, you have done this properly before and now have done it wrong THREE times, ALL on my daughter-in-law's poems. PLEASE at least ATTEMPT to get it correct. You have at least be acknowledging you're doing it wrong which is why I move them for you.
i'll try. sometimes the " add comment " thing at the bottom of the screen is missing. tough to stuff them words in against the clock and announcements saying " library is closing in ten minutes ", but i'm better under pressure. it's there today. just need a jumpy musical pillow flying type of poem - love - paul.
thanks tash. it seems easier when someone gives me the words. heard once that david bowie would just write random words on a bit of paper. then tear up the paper. throw it in the air and whatever words came down face up he would put in a song. tried it. it didn't work for me.....but then i'm not david bowie - love - paul.
Out the window the tree sways to a music all it's own. Nature's song of sweet bird songs and wind that whispers down the hill sets the trees dancing my heart is free and flying.
Says a lot in a few words. One very minor suggestion. It’s ok to write a poem with no punctuation, but once you start to put some in, you kinda have to go all the way. And I wouldn’t take out the period in the middle of the second line, the complete stop there is very effective, So I’d add a period after “dancing.”
I saw a naked woman in a tree, Or else it could have been hallucination— A few too many mushrooms on my pizza, A few too many bouts of masturbation.
I watch you from my window late at night, A pillow wrapped around my private part, My world in miniature, high on hill, The rabid animal I call my heart
Is ticking like a great grandfather clock, With concupiscent dreams to keep it pumping, In rhythm with my wiggling, squirming cock, All flying, running, walking, dancing, jumping.
Hi! New to this blog, but I found this challenge intriguing. Here's my poem:
I lie late in bed Pillow placed aslant above the head Hallucination dream
It’s what I’ve said As soon forgotten As retrieved, instead the heart skips a beat is bled of its desire to know more than what’s outside my window a tree, an image takes its stand a shapening
It's running like a clock teasing my eternity dancing on the hill to its own endless music
Wow. Beautiful! And so great to have you here!! I didn't know you wrote poetry! Do you regularly? I hope you continue to contribute. I love "the heart skips a beat / is bled / of its desire to know" Awesome image.
Thank you! I've been writing poetry for a while now. Really love the music and images I'm reading in all your poems. It's a tonic in these parlous times.
the world was just a miniature hallucination today maybe because the running animals were far away
got my dancing shoes on for tonight on stage, where the music is loud and the lights are bright no jumping....not with this knee but it makes my heart proud to see what i can see.
as you know by now bonita i was thrown out of my own gig for smoking. a jim morrisson moment. very 1969. resisted the urge to use my groucho marx line " i've been thrown out of better places than this!! " - love - paul.
thanks wolfie. you gave me such cool words i couldn't go wrong with this. gonna do an impossible promt, the next time it's my turn sssshhhh don't tell the kids - love paul.
The tree spoke from her heart, her words like music dancing. "The clock of the seasons is ticking, my sap is running.I tap on your window to get you to pay attention. Lift your head from the pillow and see, come dancing with me in the delightful rise of spring.
Sorry to be so late, busy week. Hope people see and comment. It's a true poem about the maple outside my window. It's been talking to me for a while now. Trees are so special!
Oh my, we both have the music dancing. I love it. I had a maple tree outside my bedroom window as a child. I would lay with my head on the window sill and breathe in the fragrance and talk to my tree. Like you said, trees are so special...
Nonsense
ReplyDeleteBy the window on a pillow
I had a hallucination of a man
Very stout leaning against the willow tree
A heart attack he gave me
I looked at the clock
Time had stopped
Classical music played in my head
By the window I seen an animal miniature in size
I had a hallucination
The animal was flying away
Running after it a predator
While walking outside
I seen a woman dancing
Jumping at me was her eyes
I had a hallucination
three of my favourite things. stopping time. classical music and hallucinations - nice taylor - paul.
DeleteI knew you would use hallucination one way or another. lol. may I correct your grammar? it's I saw not I seen... or was that intentional? otherwise I love the scenes set with each verse.
DeleteWow. Awesome job on the word use. These kind of prompts drive me nuts. As well as what Bonnie said, you might want to change "was her eyes" to "were her eyes". It's her eyes that were jumping and eyes is plural.
DeleteLiked this, and a bit creepy, too. Woo hoo!
DeleteI thought the grammar was intentional. And if it was, I kinda liked it. It was so casually used. (And if it wasn’t, don’t admit it.)
Deletevery imaginative! I love it!
Deletegonna have to be straight up on the screen. no spell checks. no copies. no time. no rewrites.
ReplyDeleteTICK TOCK 10
a weeping willow tree on my pillow
a tick tock clock and sad music bring me low
like wile e coyote
do i start running before i go?
dancing to a strange bear
and letting it be
barking up the wrong tree
with my out of tune dancing feet.
I moved it for you again. I'm impressed by how short of a poem you got with the words. I'll have to try to outdo you.
DeleteHowever, Once again, you have done this properly before and now have done it wrong THREE times, ALL on my daughter-in-law's poems. PLEASE at least ATTEMPT to get it correct. You have at least be acknowledging you're doing it wrong which is why I move them for you.
love the out of tune dancing feet... great line!
Deletei'll try. sometimes the " add comment " thing at the bottom of the screen is missing. tough to stuff them words in against the clock and announcements saying " library is closing in ten minutes ", but i'm better under pressure. it's there today. just need a jumpy musical pillow flying type of poem - love - paul.
Delete" hey feet!...do your stuff " - james brown.
DeleteLiked this, good for you!
Deletethanks tash. it seems easier when someone gives me the words. heard once that david bowie would just write random words on a bit of paper. then tear up the paper. throw it in the air and whatever words came down face up he would put in a song. tried it. it didn't work for me.....but then i'm not david bowie - love - paul.
DeleteI really enjoyed your poem. I loved the "out of tune dancing feet" very clever use of words.
DeleteOut the window the tree sways
ReplyDeleteto a music all it's own. Nature's
song of sweet bird songs and
wind that whispers down the hill
sets the trees dancing
my heart is free and flying.
hmmm the title of our book bonita.
Deletei love the noise trees make when they are dancing - love paul.
Says a lot in a few words. One very minor suggestion. It’s ok to write a poem with no punctuation, but once you start to put some in, you kinda have to go all the way. And I wouldn’t take out the period in the middle of the second line, the complete stop there is very effective, So I’d add a period after “dancing.”
DeleteEveryone's doing such a great job on this prompt I hate to try. Lovely and so much said in so few words.
DeleteAwesome small poem. It's actually a pretty poem!
DeleteVery disappointed no one commented on my second poem for last week. Please check it out? Thanks!
ReplyDeletei'll check it out tash - paul.
DeleteIt looks like I missed a LOT of poems last week. Tournament weeks get a bit hectic. I went back and commented on all.
DeleteI saw a naked woman in a tree,
ReplyDeleteOr else it could have been hallucination—
A few too many mushrooms on my pizza,
A few too many bouts of masturbation.
I watch you from my window late at night,
A pillow wrapped around my private part,
My world in miniature, high on hill,
The rabid animal I call my heart
Is ticking like a great grandfather clock,
With concupiscent dreams to keep it pumping,
In rhythm with my wiggling, squirming cock,
All flying, running, walking, dancing, jumping.
how do you manage to be erotic and funny at the same time? don't know why but this had me chuckling a bit. intriguing!
DeleteErotic and surreal! What an interesting combination.
DeleteThe rhyme and rhythm do seem to make this surreal. I agree with Bonnie though that somehow I found it amusing too.
DeleteAmusing is what I was going for.
DeleteHi! New to this blog, but I found this challenge intriguing. Here's my poem:
ReplyDeleteI lie late in bed
Pillow placed aslant
above the head
Hallucination
dream
It’s what I’ve said
As soon forgotten
As retrieved, instead
the heart skips a beat
is bled
of its desire to know
more than
what’s outside my window
a tree, an image takes its stand
a shapening
It's running
like a clock
teasing my eternity
dancing on the hill
to its own endless music
wonderful imagery!! love it! welcome and hope to hear more from you.
DeleteInteresting images and the soy they design. Well done and welcome.
DeleteWow. Beautiful! And so great to have you here!! I didn't know you wrote poetry! Do you regularly? I hope you continue to contribute. I love "the heart skips a beat / is bled / of its desire to know" Awesome image.
Deletei like dancing on a hill to endless music too jim.....but not in this weather ha ha - love - paul.
DeleteWow, I'm impressed with the softness and the imagery of this beautiful poem. I sure hope to keep hearing from you. Thanks for posting!
DeleteThank you! I've been writing poetry for a while now. Really love the music and images I'm reading in all your poems. It's a tonic in these parlous times.
DeleteThanks, Bonnie.
ReplyDeleteTried a senryu but couldn't fit everything. May try again for my 2nd poem. So I went with a tanka.
ReplyDeleteMusical clock chimes
plays my heartstrings it's not a
hallucination
or a pillow dream it's just life
running as time is flying
this is awesome! wonderful imagery! love it!
DeleteNice one, well done!
DeleteOh my!! great job...lots of pretty pictures floating around in such a short poem!
DeleteReally like this! esp. life running and time flying
Deletethese poems seem to be getting shorter, but more intense vic. nice - love paul.
ReplyDeleteBLOODY FLUTE PLAYERS !!
ReplyDeletethe world was just a miniature hallucination today
maybe because the running animals were far away
got my dancing shoes on for tonight
on stage, where the music is loud
and the lights are bright
no jumping....not with this knee
but it makes my heart proud
to see what i can see.
yep, I can see it. exciting write.
Deleteholy moly! an Amazing take on the prompt!!
Deleteas you know by now bonita i was thrown out of my own gig for smoking. a jim morrisson moment. very 1969. resisted the urge to use my groucho marx line " i've been thrown out of better places than this!! " - love - paul.
Deletethanks wolfie. you gave me such cool words i couldn't go wrong with this. gonna do an impossible promt, the next time it's my turn sssshhhh don't tell the kids - love paul.
DeleteI like it, I like it, a moment in time and a poem to rhyme it.
Deletethanks tash. think i hurt my typing finger on this one ha ha - love paul.
DeleteI sit at the base
ReplyDeleteof the tree
my heart, a window
to my soul
distant music dancing
through the
surrounding hills
as my mind
is flying
pleasantly
through the
ultimate hallucination...
No hallucination, just attuned to the energy you are! Beautiful, swift, sweet poem.
Deletelovely imagery! beautifully done...
DeleteVery nicely done. I didn't like this prompt when you first gave it to us, but it grew on me. LOL
Deletedistant music bugs me wolfie, 'cos i can't tell what it is. but i do know what you mean. keep on flying - love paul.
DeleteNice poem, Paul! I like its push, and I especially like the personal knee imagery (made me smile!)
DeleteWhoops! Sorry, posted this in the wrong spot. My blogging skills are a bit off this early.
DeleteTree Speak
ReplyDeleteThe tree spoke from her heart,
her words like music dancing.
"The clock of the seasons is ticking,
my sap is running.I tap on your window
to get you to pay attention.
Lift your head from the pillow
and see, come dancing with me
in the delightful rise of spring.
love the image of dancing with the tree
DeleteThank you Bonnie, and also Linda, I so appreciate comments and saying what you like, too.
DeleteI like what you did with the prompt. I like the internal rhyme. The whole poem sounds very much like music itself.
Deletecan see one tree from my pillow....a weeping willow. nice tash - love paul.
DeleteI really like the running sap imagery - perfect timing for the season!
DeleteSorry to be so late, busy week. Hope people see and comment. It's a true poem about the maple outside my window. It's been talking to me for a while now. Trees are so special!
ReplyDeleteOh my, we both have the music dancing. I love it. I had a maple tree outside my bedroom window as a child. I would lay with my head on the window sill and breathe in the fragrance and talk to my tree. Like you said, trees are so special...
ReplyDelete