Outside the small town called Upper Great Snoring which was just down the road from Throop, lived a scaly green dragon who was always roaring and stunk up the town with her poop.
The dragon, whose name was Emmy the Scary, flew closer to Upper Great Snoring. She unfurled her wings and dove oh so very close to the roads with her soaring.
The townspeople screamed and feared for their lives, they could not decide what to do. They whittled their swords and sharpened their knives, aimed their best but not one thing they threw
could penetrate Emmy the Scary's green hide. And she pooped on her hill and the trees. Not one could get close, because Emmy would glide right past them, did just as she pleased.
"Who can help us?" asked Mayor Dame Alianora. "Who can get rid of this plight? Let us send out the word with the fauna and flora, perhaps we can find us a knight."
Princess Vivian lived in Queensboro Hold, a castle not far from the town. She had no fear of dragons, she was brave and was bold and eager to bring a beast down.
Her mother had raised her to be a great knight, Sir Vivian practiced each day. She wore armor, road horses and won every fight, but she'd never been in a real fray.
Word reached the castle and Vivian heard. She knew that this was her chance. She wrote out a message and sent it by bird then gathered her armor and lance.
She got close to the town, to the smell of the poop. Then she saw the green dragon Emmy. Yes, she truly was scary. She’d dive and she’d swoop. It was only one dragon, not many.
Sir Vivian rode to the nest with her lance and challenged the beast to a fray. The dragon said no, there wasn't a chance: she'd bellow and poop and she'd stay.
Brave knight Sir Vivian couldn't beat Scary with her learned knightly skills of the fight. But she never was one to sit back and tarry so she did what she knew to be right.
She got even closer, climbed into the nest, where Emmy the Scary stood proudly. When Vivian neared, she stood and addressed the dragon. She spoke up quite loudly.
"Why do you hate us? I am asking you please. Will you stop with the poop and the roaring? They just want live with the mountains and trees, the people of Upper Great Snoring."
Emmy the Scary grew quiet and shifted, showed Vivian what her nest held. Three tiny dragons peeked out. She lifted the babies, and boy, they sure smelled.
Emmy the Scary said she wanted her children to be safe, to be fed, to be warm. She buried them deep in the poop so that when the rains came it would keep them from harm.
Sir Vivian rode on her horse with her lance back down to the town and the mayor. They’d deal with Emmy and took a big chance since Sir Vivian would no longer slay her.
The town would help raise the little green dragons, and build them a warm dragon coop. And Emmy the Scary would pull a big wagon so she could clean up all the poop.
Sir Vivian went back to Emmy the Scary and presented what they had to say. Emmy agreed, the poop she would bury, and would roar only real far away.
The life of a knight wasn’t quite what she thought, Sir Vivian knew in the end, things worked out all right, just as they ought, and now Vivian had a new friend.
WOW!!! how imaginative!!! I love it!!! It's a great children's poem. We all know that kids love the word "poop". LOL!!! And you thought of a solution besides slaying the dragon. Wonderful poem.
not much time today. wrote most of this on the train. still not finished, but little time
THE SHADOW GIFT WHEN EVERYTHING WAS ORANGE
i was waiting on a moment but that moment never came still plating this stupid man and woman game alone in this lonely house to rent if it was summer, i'd be living in a tent
i was turning in to her and she was turning in to me but it was something that was never meant to be we were known as the oddest couple in the city. but we caused quite a stir.
can't say i was ever as naughty as she was victoria, but she did get me in to five fights and arrested three times. however the bits not getting beaten and locked up were fabulous - love and peace - paul.
she was easy to get lost in. walking around being the most beautiful creature on the planet should be against the law ha ha - not as much fun as a basket of puppies though - paul.
aawwww it's that sensophibia thing i have. getting my senses mixed up. smelling colours. tasting music. feeling light etc. she just blew all my senses to bits - love and peace - paul.
This comes from a full-length novel in verse, Situations, published by Victoria. The story was improvised from week to week around the one-sentence synopses of a group of situation comedies, and I went it out as a newsletter (this was pre-internet).
The second half of the story: I was approached by an editor who had had xome success with an anthology of poems and stories and essays by women entitled "Dick for a Day" (what if you had one?) She was doing a followup anthology of work by men called "Chick for a Day" (what if you were one?) Did I have anything? I didn't, but my upcoming week's synopses for Situations had a promising one: The Major wants to adopt the girls.
The Major was the main character of Situations, an unreconstructed conservative Cold Warrior, and what if he...?
The Major in retirement: he plays Checkers on the Internet; he melts Bullets to make lead soldiers (Green Berets); He mostly wishes he were someone else.
He joins blue-veined Elizabeth at rest; As if he’d never seen them, he explores Her female parts, and says, “I’d wish for just One day to try out those girl things of yours."
"Dear Major," says Elizabeth, “You might Be just a bit more circumspect with wishes. No reason why it shouldn't be all right, But you could still be under one of Trisha’s
Long shelf-life spells. ”He chuckles,” I don't think so." He gets up, dons his military costume, Heads for the door. ”Sweetheart, before you go,” She says, ”you’d better use the little boy's room.”
He notes, with absent-minded irritation, The seat's left up (not heretofore an issue). He lowers it, prepares for urination By sitting down and reaching for a tissue.
This can't be right! He rises to attention, Does an about face to address the bowl. He reaches for his natural extension, Comes up a good five inches less than whole.
So...is The Major shocked by this? Well, sort of. His masculinity is so ingrained, He has to let it sink in what he's short of Before he stops to check out what he's gained.
Elizabeth was right—he's been possessed. He starts to call her, then opts for discretion. This may be better kept close to the chest. Speaking of which...he checks. Yep, more possession.
He tells her that he's not to be disturbed; He's working on his keynote for the Legion. His curiosity now won't be curbed, He heads directly for his nether region.
He sits and stares, and wonders what to do with it. He runs through all his fantasies of lust, But now he's not so sure he could go through with it —He doubts he'd find a man that he could trust.
He thinks he'd better take it for a test drive. He gives himself encomia: who comes With more technique than he has for a nest dive? To his dismay, he finds himself all thumbs.
No matter how he presses, pokes, cajoles, He gets no more response than from a teapot. He keeps on getting lost among the folds; Where is his clitoris? Does he have a G-spot?
Too bad he can't do what he does with engines; He'd brace it upright on his workbench, fix It in a vise, go at it with a vengeance, Dismantle it to find out how it ticks.
There's got to be an Army training manual. He grabs the phone and dials the PX. He requisitions the updated annual GI edition. Girl's First Guide To Sex,
Delivered after twenty minutes waiting By a demure corporal. He starts At Section Ten Point Seven: Masturbating, Complete with checklist, diagrams and charts.
Maybe this thing's got more complexity Than what you would have thought—to get a handle He'll need to study—this calls for chablis, A bubble bath, Patchouli, and a candle.
Cigar among the bubbles, hand in air Poking his laptop, number-crunching, poring Through techno-intricacies, unaware The other hand is in his lap, exploring.
Subject: apparent female organs. Status: On standby. Tentative conclusion: freak Malfunction due to faulty apparatus. The Major knows it can't be his technique--
All the chicks tell him he's the best. Blue-veined Elizabeth has hailed him as the master (Hasn't she?) Etienne's never complained, though, come to think of it, he's never asked her.
Musing, he's caught off guard by a sensation That spills his Merlot, sends his laptop crashing. His unfamiliar part's a conflagration, He's howling, sobbing, moaning, flailing, thrashing.
”Dearest,” Elizabeth calls out, ”are you All right?” Just as he's on his final spasm. ”Yes, my sweet one,” he croaks. ”I stubbed my toe Against the sink. ”Now, that was an orgasm.
Those women have it made, with guys like me To do 'em. Then a troubling, if belated Further reflection: Wha'd I do, exactly? Don't even know if I could recreate it.
Male ego fast succumbing to fragility, Acute self-doubt arising to befuddle him, He questions the existence of virility, And wishes he had someone there to cuddle him.
Time's running out, and still he hasn't tried it, And still he's of two minds—it seems to work; Shouldn't he try once with a man inside it? He doesn't want to waste it on some jerk,
Precious as gold, or frankincense, or jasmine, Not to be given up without a fight; And yet...he wants the world to know he has one. He grabs a raincoat, drives into the night.
He parks his car outside the VFW, He stops a group of sailors as they climb The front steps: ”Fellas, I don't mean to trouble you, But check this out!” He hears the church bells chime
The stroke of midnight. Now, rather than tangled Exotic bush, to his dismay, he sees The same thing they do: what has always dangled In its familiar spot, fanned by the breeze.
The first one is more plain and understandable. and I didn't read the two as connected...then I read the introduction--yes, I often read from the bottom up for some reason. OK, now I do understand, and they are interesting poems, as usual with Victoria, very well written.
Luci Fer learned too late tp burn in fire would be her fate from God's own grace she fell condemned for eternity to hell over His dominions she flew but could not hide from God's view for mercy she did beg and plead but her prayers He did not heed in hell she would reign over all the sinners quite insane torture them for their transgressions unforgivable by confession in fire and brimstone night and day for all infinity she must stay no amount of imploring can save her soul from this fiery grave Luci Fer is queen of hell since from God's grace she fell.
Although I usually don't like to think in stereotypes, that's basically what you have to do to get ideas for the prompt. Like a male secretary or nanny. Or a female mechanic or mass murderer.
And maybe don’t bring Hell in quite so soon. She flees from him, there’s nowhere she can hide, she pleads....then he consigns her to Hell. Did you consider making God a woman too? If God is a man, what did Luci do to be banished from heaven? What’s the one thing a male God can’t countenance? If God is a woman, maybe....maybe Luci created men???
The Ballad of Sir Vivian and Emmy the Scary
ReplyDeleteOutside the small town called Upper Great Snoring
which was just down the road from Throop,
lived a scaly green dragon who was always roaring
and stunk up the town with her poop.
The dragon, whose name was Emmy the Scary,
flew closer to Upper Great Snoring.
She unfurled her wings and dove oh so very
close to the roads with her soaring.
The townspeople screamed and feared for their lives,
they could not decide what to do.
They whittled their swords and sharpened their knives,
aimed their best but not one thing they threw
could penetrate Emmy the Scary's green hide.
And she pooped on her hill and the trees.
Not one could get close, because Emmy would glide
right past them, did just as she pleased.
"Who can help us?" asked Mayor Dame Alianora.
"Who can get rid of this plight?
Let us send out the word with the fauna and flora,
perhaps we can find us a knight."
Princess Vivian lived in Queensboro Hold,
a castle not far from the town.
She had no fear of dragons, she was brave and was bold
and eager to bring a beast down.
Her mother had raised her to be a great knight,
Sir Vivian practiced each day.
She wore armor, road horses and won every fight,
but she'd never been in a real fray.
Word reached the castle and Vivian heard.
She knew that this was her chance.
She wrote out a message and sent it by bird
then gathered her armor and lance.
She got close to the town, to the smell of the poop.
Then she saw the green dragon Emmy.
Yes, she truly was scary. She’d dive and she’d swoop.
It was only one dragon, not many.
Sir Vivian rode to the nest with her lance
and challenged the beast to a fray.
The dragon said no, there wasn't a chance:
she'd bellow and poop and she'd stay.
Brave knight Sir Vivian couldn't beat Scary
with her learned knightly skills of the fight.
But she never was one to sit back and tarry
so she did what she knew to be right.
She got even closer, climbed into the nest,
where Emmy the Scary stood proudly.
When Vivian neared, she stood and addressed
the dragon. She spoke up quite loudly.
"Why do you hate us? I am asking you please.
Will you stop with the poop and the roaring?
They just want live with the mountains and trees,
the people of Upper Great Snoring."
Emmy the Scary grew quiet and shifted,
showed Vivian what her nest held.
Three tiny dragons peeked out. She lifted
the babies, and boy, they sure smelled.
Emmy the Scary said she wanted her children
to be safe, to be fed, to be warm.
She buried them deep in the poop so that when
the rains came it would keep them from harm.
Sir Vivian rode on her horse with her lance
back down to the town and the mayor.
They’d deal with Emmy and took a big chance
since Sir Vivian would no longer slay her.
The town would help raise the little green dragons,
and build them a warm dragon coop.
And Emmy the Scary would pull a big wagon
so she could clean up all the poop.
Sir Vivian went back to Emmy the Scary
and presented what they had to say.
Emmy agreed, the poop she would bury,
and would roar only real far away.
The life of a knight wasn’t quite what she thought,
Sir Vivian knew in the end,
things worked out all right, just as they ought,
and now Vivian had a new friend.
Oh my!!! Interesting ending and cute all over story! YOu know how to write them for sure!
Deletethat was fun :-)
Deletei ain't afraid of no dragons ( to the tune of ghostbusters ). hell...i used to date one - love and peace - paul.
DeleteWOW!!! how imaginative!!! I love it!!! It's a great children's poem. We all know that kids love the word "poop". LOL!!! And you thought of a solution besides slaying the dragon. Wonderful poem.
ReplyDeleteVivian in particular loves the word poop. She turned 5 last month, on Groundhog's Day!
Deletenot much time today. wrote most of this on the train. still not finished, but little time
ReplyDeleteTHE SHADOW GIFT WHEN EVERYTHING WAS ORANGE
i was waiting on a moment
but that moment never came
still plating this stupid man and woman game
alone in this lonely house to rent
if it was summer, i'd be living in a tent
i was turning in to her
and she was turning in to me
but it was something that was never meant to be
we were known as the oddest couple in the city. but we caused quite a stir.
eerrr that's playing, not plating
DeleteI love the concept of turning into each other. That really does seem to happen to some people
Deletei know the feeling. sometimes we lose ourselves in a relationship and turn into the other person without noticing.
Deletecan't say i was ever as naughty as she was victoria, but she did get me in to five fights and arrested three times. however the bits not getting beaten and locked up were fabulous - love and peace - paul.
Deleteshe was easy to get lost in. walking around being the most beautiful creature on the planet should be against the law ha ha - not as much fun as a basket of puppies though - paul.
DeleteAh, if wishes were horses you'd have a stable! Seriously, decent poem, though. Some thing jus ae not meant to be, eh? And so it is.
DeletePS I think I like the title better even than the poem. Very evocative.
Deleteaawwww it's that sensophibia thing i have. getting my senses mixed up. smelling colours. tasting music. feeling light etc. she just blew all my senses to bits - love and peace - paul.
DeleteThis comes from a full-length novel in verse, Situations, published by Victoria. The story was improvised from week to week around the one-sentence synopses of a group of situation comedies, and I went it out as a newsletter (this was pre-internet).
ReplyDeleteThe second half of the story: I was approached by an editor who had had xome success with an anthology of poems and stories and essays by women entitled "Dick for a Day" (what if you had one?) She was doing a followup anthology of work by men called "Chick for a Day" (what if you were one?) Did I have anything? I didn't, but my upcoming week's synopses for Situations had a promising one: The Major wants to adopt the girls.
The Major was the main character of Situations, an unreconstructed conservative Cold Warrior, and what if he...?
This was the result.
Episode XVII
The Major wants to adopt the girls.
The Major in retirement: he plays
DeleteCheckers on the Internet; he melts
Bullets to make lead soldiers (Green Berets);
He mostly wishes he were someone else.
He joins blue-veined Elizabeth at rest;
As if he’d never seen them, he explores
Her female parts, and says, “I’d wish for just
One day to try out those girl things of yours."
"Dear Major," says Elizabeth, “You might
Be just a bit more circumspect with wishes.
No reason why it shouldn't be all right,
But you could still be under one of Trisha’s
Long shelf-life spells. ”He chuckles,” I don't think so."
He gets up, dons his military costume,
Heads for the door. ”Sweetheart, before you go,”
She says, ”you’d better use the little boy's room.”
He notes, with absent-minded irritation,
The seat's left up (not heretofore an issue).
He lowers it, prepares for urination
By sitting down and reaching for a tissue.
This can't be right! He rises to attention,
Does an about face to address the bowl.
He reaches for his natural extension,
Comes up a good five inches less than whole.
So...is The Major shocked by this? Well, sort of.
His masculinity is so ingrained,
He has to let it sink in what he's short of
Before he stops to check out what he's gained.
Elizabeth was right—he's been possessed.
He starts to call her, then opts for discretion.
This may be better kept close to the chest.
Speaking of which...he checks. Yep, more possession.
He tells her that he's not to be disturbed;
He's working on his keynote for the Legion.
His curiosity now won't be curbed,
He heads directly for his nether region.
He sits and stares, and wonders what to do with it.
He runs through all his fantasies of lust,
But now he's not so sure he could go through with it
—He doubts he'd find a man that he could trust.
He thinks he'd better take it for a test drive.
He gives himself encomia: who comes
With more technique than he has for a nest dive?
To his dismay, he finds himself all thumbs.
No matter how he presses, pokes, cajoles,
He gets no more response than from a teapot.
He keeps on getting lost among the folds;
Where is his clitoris? Does he have a G-spot?
Too bad he can't do what he does with engines;
He'd brace it upright on his workbench, fix
It in a vise, go at it with a vengeance,
Dismantle it to find out how it ticks.
There's got to be an Army training manual.
He grabs the phone and dials the PX.
He requisitions the updated annual
GI edition. Girl's First Guide To Sex,
Delivered after twenty minutes waiting
By a demure corporal. He starts
At Section Ten Point Seven: Masturbating,
Complete with checklist, diagrams and charts.
Maybe this thing's got more complexity
Than what you would have thought—to get a handle
He'll need to study—this calls for chablis,
A bubble bath, Patchouli, and a candle.
Cigar among the bubbles, hand in air
Poking his laptop, number-crunching, poring
Through techno-intricacies, unaware
The other hand is in his lap, exploring.
Subject: apparent female organs. Status:
On standby. Tentative conclusion: freak
Malfunction due to faulty apparatus.
The Major knows it can't be his technique--
All the chicks tell him he's the best. Blue-veined
Elizabeth has hailed him as the master
(Hasn't she?) Etienne's never complained,
though, come to think of it, he's never asked her.
Musing, he's caught off guard by a sensation
That spills his Merlot, sends his laptop crashing.
His unfamiliar part's a conflagration,
He's howling, sobbing, moaning, flailing, thrashing.
”Dearest,” Elizabeth calls out, ”are you
All right?” Just as he's on his final spasm.
”Yes, my sweet one,” he croaks. ”I stubbed my toe
Against the sink. ”Now, that was an orgasm.
Those women have it made, with guys like me
To do 'em. Then a troubling, if belated
Further reflection: Wha'd I do, exactly?
Don't even know if I could recreate it.
Male ego fast succumbing to fragility,
DeleteAcute self-doubt arising to befuddle him,
He questions the existence of virility,
And wishes he had someone there to cuddle him.
Time's running out, and still he hasn't tried it,
And still he's of two minds—it seems to work;
Shouldn't he try once with a man inside it?
He doesn't want to waste it on some jerk,
Precious as gold, or frankincense, or jasmine,
Not to be given up without a fight;
And yet...he wants the world to know he has one.
He grabs a raincoat, drives into the night.
He parks his car outside the VFW,
He stops a group of sailors as they climb
The front steps: ”Fellas, I don't mean to trouble you,
But check this out!” He hears the church bells chime
The stroke of midnight. Now, rather than tangled
Exotic bush, to his dismay, he sees
The same thing they do: what has always dangled
In its familiar spot, fanned by the breeze.
I remember Situations. Strange poetry. LOL. But enjoyable.
Deletetook me awhile to get through this one. i kept getting lost. lol... but interesting read.
DeleteThe first one is more plain and understandable. and I didn't read the two as connected...then I read the introduction--yes, I often read from the bottom up for some reason. OK, now I do understand, and they are interesting poems, as usual with Victoria, very well written.
DeleteLuci Fer learned too late
ReplyDeletetp burn in fire would be her fate
from God's own grace she fell
condemned for eternity to hell
over His dominions she flew
but could not hide from God's view
for mercy she did beg and plead
but her prayers He did not heed
in hell she would reign
over all the sinners quite insane
torture them for their transgressions
unforgivable by confession
in fire and brimstone night and day
for all infinity she must stay
no amount of imploring can save
her soul from this fiery grave
Luci Fer is queen of hell
since from God's grace she fell.
OMG, I LOVE IT!! I didn't even get the Luci Fer right off either, which made it even better.
DeleteWOW!!! This is totally awesome! I still can't come up with anything...
DeleteAlthough I usually don't like to think in stereotypes, that's basically what you have to do to get ideas for the prompt. Like a male secretary or nanny. Or a female mechanic or mass murderer.
Deletevery clever bonita. like it. we sinners have to stick together - me phisto.
DeleteI like it a lot. With a little tweaking you could get it to scan.
DeleteAnd maybe don’t bring Hell in quite so soon. She flees from him, there’s nowhere she can hide, she pleads....then he consigns her to Hell.
DeleteDid you consider making God a woman too? If God is a man, what did Luci do to be banished from heaven? What’s the one thing a male God can’t countenance? If God is a woman, maybe....maybe Luci created men???
That is quite clever indeed. I thought this was a strenuous prompt.
Deletejust a short one. think it fits the promt. tell me if it doesn't.
ReplyDeleteDOPPLEGANGER
was that me in the mirror today?
i thought i'd gone away
guess i'm here to stay
though always with feet of clay.
A Lyrical Limerick
ReplyDeleteA woman who traveled the land,
played instruments with foot and hand
trumpet, cymbals and drum,
she also would hum,
a one woman, one man band.
Hope this suffices. Had a busy week and no inspiration so here's my effort.
ReplyDeletelol! i like it! works for me and it made me smile and chuckle. a one woman one man band :-)
ReplyDeleteMany Thanks, Bonnie. I appreciate your comment.
Delete