This week's prompt is from Tasha:
For this prompt considering the day and the season, I would like to suggest Gifts, giving, and given. What do you ive gladly? Not so gladly, what have you been given, you appreciate or do not, and finally, what are the true gifts? Please feel free to interpret as you see fit and enjoy! .
PROOF
ReplyDeleteI construct poems like Geometry proofs.
Each line makes a statement, has a reason.
Start the poem with what you know, the given,
end with final words, what you want to show.
Each line makes a statement, has a reason.
Start the poem with what you know, the given.
End with final words, what you want to show.
I construct poems like Geometry proofs.
I enjoyed your take=off on the prompt as well as your very short pantoum
DeleteVictoria, I totally love your awesome little pantoum. They don't look any easier than a longer one!!!
Deletewell constructed :-). sorry I couldn't resist.
DeleteNice one!very clever.it reads both ways. Is there a special name for this form?
ReplyDeleteTasha, Victoria wrote a very well constructed, shortest of all pantoum.
ReplyDeleteThanks, didn't realze that. Not so knowledgeable about forms as some.
Deleteeerrr i sortta construct poems like a collapsing building, but i know what you mean. every....word.....counts - love and peace victoria, or karate math girl, your super heroine identity ha ha ssshhh - paul.
ReplyDeleteok. i wrote 4 poems. two got burned and yes, it did set off the smoke detectors. these are the survivors. nice promt tash, but you know i'm gonna go all dark on you, don't you?
ReplyDeleteTHE OLD DAYS
many days have passed since we fed the bunnies in the park
many nights have passed since we kissed in the dark
" life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone " - jack and diane - john cougar melloncamp.
dried her tears all night
still she wanted to fight
gave her my love. it was her's by right
need a pencil sharpener
and a non insane partner
she took all i had and came back for more
still she was the creature i did and do adore
these shipwrecks of women seem to be drawn to me like a lighthouse
when sometimes i just want to hide like a frightened mouse.
HA HA! Can't picture you as a mouse. Like the poem, though, even if it is another of your laments.
Deletei always knew i was way out of my league with her tash. but she was enough woman to turn any man in to a mouse....but god! she smelled nice ha ha - love and peace - paul.
Deletedeeply dark. Thank you for letting us into your past.
Deletewell written and as Victoria said compelling
Deleteoh, you don't want to go in to my past ladies....it's scary
Deleteone more and i'll behave....eeerr probably.
ReplyDeleteFOOLS GOLD (THE GIFT )
i know it's over
but like a drowning man i grasp for her life belt
every emotion there is i felt
keep thinking i'm goung to recover
heard little sammie was beaten in to the hospital
that just makes me want to kill
she gave me the twilight of love. now we are both lost in the dark zone
fricken hell. throw a starving dog a bone
i've no place to go
but still want to meet you under the mistletoe.
thanks everyone and happy new year - love and peace paul.
One day perhaps she will be merely a memory, not an sad ache, I wish that day would come sooner for you than later. Hopeless love, I think they call it. Wishing you well for the New Year and Beyond, for sure!
Deleteshe was always trouble tash. but like i said before, i can handle a certain amount of trouble. but this emotional tornado of a woman blew me away - take care tash. hope stephens cold is better - love paul.
Deletedarkly beautiful...yes, a drowning person will fight for their last breath...hoping. We hope till the lights go out.
DeleteInteresting and oddly compelling.
Deletethanks wolfie. to continue the sea analogy. she was my titanic. all shiny and lovely on the inside, but prowen to icebergs - love and peace - paul.
Deletethanks karate kid. going not so dark in my new stuff - love and peace - paul.
DeleteGiving and Receiving
ReplyDeleteA loving heart
gives without thought,
without stint of itself;
gives and is given in return.
And we are given that we may give,
and give that giving may be and continue.
All life is a giving and a receiving,
that the giving may have a purpose
and the receiving a place to be.
Unfolding the gifts means
unwrapping the giving
to discover the receiver
and by accepting
the receiver in turn gives
as the circle becomes complete.
With a full heart my giving is.
With an open heart, my receiving is.
The love that gives and receives
has endless supply and never lacks;
the love that gives without stint
receives the same and more,
and finds in the giving
and in the receiving
endless joy.
life is a full circle of giving and receiving. Even infants give by smiling and cooing and just by being all around pleasant. It is a wonderful circle. I love giving as well as receiving. Especially if the gift is appreciated.
DeleteYes, and I like receiving too, just as much, actualy. Thanks for your comment!
DeleteI like the thought of this one but I find the many "give" and "giving"s to make it sometimes sound like a tongue twister.
Deletesweet idea but as Victoria said hard to read with so many repetitive gives etc..
DeleteI find it interesting that while there are as many receiving-s as givings, there was no problem with them...curious. The tone of the poem is a kind of a chant, so that is the impact of the repetition. Perhaps it does not work.
DeleteThis is not a new poem, howeer I will certainly write one of those beore the week is up. I have another one called The Gift, perhaps I ought to publish that one too. It's cute. So I will, and still I'll write another one or you'll think I made that prompt on purpose so I could post these. No, not at all--at last not consciously.
ReplyDeletei love your generous heart tash. i'm so glad you don't live where i live and have decent friends. this city would break your gentle heart - love and peace - paul.
DeleteThe Giving Wound
ReplyDeleteI grieve the things I cannot change
and change those that I may.
Sometimes the difference is clear
Sometimes I lose my way.
Pain makes it difficult to see
the thin dividing line
between the lesson to be learned
and where the light may shine
to show the reason for the trial
and why it wounds me so
that I may open up my heart
and see how I may grow.
The thorn that pierces makes me bleed.
As well that thorn may be
a sharp reminder to be kind
and let the love flow free.
I grieve the things I cannot change
and change those that I may.
And when the difference is clear
I see to find my way.
Yes, I like this poem Tasha. Pain is a great reminder that we are alive and need to pass on the love. I like that part of the poem....and I like the way you started and ended your poem. Nice.
DeleteThanks again. I appreciate you! Your thoughtful comments make my day. Love and a Christmas hug.
DeleteI like the way you do a take on the first stanza in the last, giving it a more positive direction, from "lose my way" to "find my way." That's all we can do.
Deletenicely done the way it circles around using the same thought
DeleteThanks to you both for the kind comments.
DeleteI couldn't find The Gift--wrong title I guess, if I find it I'll post it, however, here is another poem I did find on the theme.
ReplyDeletehope you aren't turning in to me tash...that would not be good, i promise. " the boy with the thorn in his side " - the smiths - love and peace paul.
Deleteone more then i'll give someone else a chance. it's about the gift of ghosts in my head.....yeah, i am quite weird. it's also sortta charles dickensish
ReplyDeleteGHOSTS ( a hard road 5 )
a dozen toasts to all my ghosts
the little one that died young
and the one that always sung
i miss......i need....your laughter
" i ain't afraid of no ghosts " - ghostbusters.
i've learned about honour
a hard road more often than not
but worth the effort
i know it doesn't rhyme
but i didn't have the time
the ghosts outnumbered me one to nine.
" we've come too far to give up who we are " - up all night - daft punk.
I don't mind that it doesn't rhyme, I like it a lot, and found it more touching than many you have written.
Deletesometimes the gifts we get, aren't always what we want. the gift of love can sometimes be a poisoned chalice - watch out for those ghosts tash - love paul.
DeleteThe gift of presence and love are very fine gifts indeed. I have had the honor of the presence of three ghosts in my lifetime who helped me understand things like death and loss...
DeleteI like this one a lot. And I love that you say it doesn't rhyme even though it does. It adds a level of absurd to the poem.
Deletecleverly constructed
Deleteneed my ghosts to keep me warm wolfie. 'cos the living are no good at it ha ha. death and i are old friends. we've met many times - love and peace - paul.
Deletei'm always good at being absurd victoria...eerrr ask anyone ha ha. there are no rules in poetry karate kid - love and peace - paul.
Deletethanks bonita. pussy cats ok? - love and peace - paul.
DeleteMy dog is concerned with
ReplyDeletelife’s mysteries and
naturally
expects me
to unravel a few
at least the small ones
that’s what dogs do
but I’m not
sure I’m ready for this
I have the secrets
give them as gifts
carefully
individually wrapped
with appropriate
hand lettered cards
red ribbons
but dogs don’t think that way
so I touch noses
and flip one up
in the air
she leaps up to catch it
shakes it back and forth
like a plush toy
trots out to
bury it in the yard
lovely poem.my dog was much smarter than me. she taught me about the world, not the other way around. she always had the look, that she knew all about life's mysteries and was only teasing me - love and peace - paul.
DeleteI like this take on the prompt. It is very amusing and charming. I enjoyed the great imagery. When Thor was just a puppy, (he's 18 now) he used to bury everything even his supper. He would carry mouthfuls outside and bury them. If we gave him a bone, he would bury it immediately! He finally got to the point where he realized that no one was going to steal his stuf and grew out of that habit
DeleteI thought this was a charming poem and not only that but reads well and is so nicely visual. Kudos!
DeleteIt needs a lot more work. This is something I’ve done before, and it can yield interesting results — take a poem that I’d started without thinking about the prompt, and bend it toward the prompt.
DeleteYou always think your poems need more work. I love this the way it is.
Deletemy first thought after reading this was WOW! so that is my comment... wow!
DeleteI bought Christmas gifts for everyone
ReplyDeletedidn't forget a soul
I wanted to play Santa
for the kids
But, an Arctic storm hit
and ruined my plans
now the gifts still sit here
on the living room floor
Yep, it snowed five feet
and I don't have a sleigh
cars don't make it
on such a winter's day
Erie's snowed in
and we're snowed out
sixty-one inches
is nothing to laugh about!
I'll give my gifts
they're not going anywhere
when the snow melts
that's when I'll get there...
Oh my! Truth in verse.Well the joy gets extended that way, so good for you anyway, and a nice poem telling your tale, Hugs, Blessings, Happy New Year
DeleteI hope you finally got to have your Christmas!! As far as the poem, you start out not rhyming but start in the 3rd stanza. I guess that's the way the snow flies. LOL.
Deletepoor Linda! just think how much fun to have Christmas after everyone else is done :-)
Deleteit's the gift that counts, not when it gets there wolfie. didn't get my gift till yesterday - don't fall in the snow - paul.
DeleteGifts
ReplyDeleteA gift for you, I exclaim in eagerness and joy
you say to yourself, I can hardly wait, oh boy
you open it up hoping for a pleasant surprise
If these clothes are for you, they'll be your demise
You wouldn't be caught dead in such folderol
just the thought evokes extra strength Tylenol
Well that's ok, it's the thought that counts
presents aren't measured in dollar amounts
If you give from your heart instead of your head
You'll make someone happy and stand in good stead
Sometimes receiving is about as hard as giving
don't offend the giver if you want to keep on living
my take on gifts is that they can be a risky proposition
but go ahead an participate, it's just part of the human condition.
Great rhymes!!! Plus truth, I suppose it is difficult to choose for someone else. Mostly I give my Stephen gifts he's pointed out he wants! I buy and stash until the day. Liked your poem a lot.
DeleteLOL. Yup. Good meter and rhyme and I agree, gifts are difficult.
Deletegood write and spot on in your observations
Deletenice paul. made me smile. best christmas gift i got was my ex crazy ladies second hand bugs bunny slippers - love and peace - paul.
Deletejoyful gifts of life
ReplyDeletesometimes taken for granted
are the most precious
Yes indeed, very much to the point!
DeleteAgree wholeheartedly and a lot said in so few words. Overall, a nice senryu, but I think you wasted two syllables in the last line. "are the" could be functional description.
Deleteawesome!
Deleteare we talking about vodka here wolfie ha ha. only joking - paul.
DeleteGifts
ReplyDeleteThe gift at the heart of giving
blends into the gift of receiving
and both flow as one because
what goes around, comes around,
and the circle/cycle is joyous
unless to be sure the gift
is a bunch of germs.
Made me laugh. I thought you were getting "deep" and then that last line hit. Nice job.
Deleteupon finishing your poem, I sneezed...!!! and laughed at the same time.
DeleteThanks for the read and for the comments too! Happy New Year to All!!!
Deleteha ha ha.. fun peom
Deletemade it tash. yeah, the gift of germs. a kid on the train thought it was a good idea to sneeze all over me for twenty minutes.....uh-hu!
DeleteThanks, all, glad it pleased and amused.
DeleteMade it under the wire...hope it gets read!
ReplyDelete