I not only wrote a new one for last week's prompt (and if those who have not would please read and comments I'd greatly appreciate it) but I have one of my oldest poems that fits this prompt.
IMAGES OF SUICIDE
I should never have gone to see you al dressed up, you lips thin and tight, eyes closed, so still, your hair slicked back to cover the bullet hole.
Laid out with folded hands, one that held the gun. How much I must not have known, certainly did not know you in your casket, someone I had never met but see in thoughts of you.
I should have remembered you that morning we made love as you stood at my screen door and watched the sun rise.
Tousled hair fell on naked shoulders, blue jeans hung low about your hips. Sunlight washed your face with shining warmth. A cigarette hung loose in your lips, smoke rose dreamlike in the morning rays, and you took my breath away.
do you still have that great pic I took of him standing by the refrigerator in Linda's kitchen. I had it enlarged and gave it to you when you were living in Denton, TX
Moving. There are rookie mistakes you wouldn't have made in later poems. Tousled hair is a cliche, and you seem to say you made while he was standing at the screen door. But sometimes I feel that we owe it to our young poet selves not to let the old farts we've become mess with our poems.
I don't know why but I got a big kick out of this poem. It was so "Arlene". She used to give me change like .46 and tell me that I needed it. I would chuckle and try to give it back but she was insistent that I needed it. I know the two of you were very close and this just gives me a little chuckle.
i don't know arlene obviously, but she sounds like a nice person.i'm back after my nightmare week. strangely i lost something forever over that week. so here is a poem about it
BAD DAY 3
sorry can't write about my life today it would just depress you and make you cry shake your head and wonder why, oh why my last five girlfriends have been a nightmare of blue there must be a nice lady, who knows another way
joanne got caught with heroin and blamed it on me as if i'd touch that junk after she took me for hundreds of pounds and many a penny thought she was a fluffy bunny, but turned out to be a skunk
i got locked up for the night, while she walked away only got out when the cops checked her 22 year heroin record and realised you can't believe a word she will ever say.
it's nice to have you back. lost a little more faith and trust over that week. sounded like things were going well for you two and then the wolf took off her sheep's clothing and the real joann showed up.
Paul I'm glad to have you back too. You trust too easily I think and it gets you in trouble. Those skunks in fluffy bunny clothes will do it every time. Nice poem
see if this works. thanks ladies. believe it, or not i've been in another nightmare relationship since this one. a woman called sarah after asking me out and her writing me love poetry and me getting her whatever she wanted, she disapeares with my money, bag of booze and her smack. i had high hopes for sarah.....i should have known better - love and peace - paul.
it was four days after my 13th birthday I was at school like and normal day my older sister was there and instantly... my day was night, my mother was no longer by my side my bestfriend was gone
There was no one to guide me through life or see me do sports or succeed in anything I didn't know what to do...
How was I going to survive on my own all alone in this enormous world of demons and people who will try to bring me down. I had to learn how to live with no guidelines of the most important things in life it was scary and dark on this side
my home was gone and I couldn't seem to find it I was alone in the dark with no home for a very long tine, it was heart breaking I had to keep going and fighting this dark night away from home...
I am so happy you continue to join us here. I know losing your mom had to be the most traumatic event in your life. Writing about it can be cathartic. The last lines are so powerful!!! This poem has a lot of potential.
And BTW, your mom's house was always my favorite relative's house to visit. She managed to keep it feeling calm and welcoming, whatever the circumstances.
Lydia was the sweetest little girl she played dress up for us she made sand castles in the sand box we pushed her on the swings she was in my tenth grade fashion show and everyone in the audience said "awww" she was a big part of our lives I was little mama she was my charge Lydia felt like my own then, six turned into five, suddenly it was hard losing her it was hard on us all we grew up in one evening because we needed her and then she was gone...
This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful little girl. I never knew her. She would have been my age had she lived. You've told me so much about Lydia that I feel I knew her.
My mind is gone forever, faded into vague recollections It's kind of muddled with my poor feeble dissections
I don't anticipate the fog will clear I'm really lucky to still see and hear Left field is comfortable, this is where I'll stay I never really worried if I seem to lose my way
Life can be bliss if you don't really care Sometimes I just sit there and casually stare This is the disease of extreme apathy Which begs your patience and sympathy
I hope that you will forgive that I am currently not in My mind is not available in this mixed up raucous din
Focus is something that has silently slipped away It's alright though, because to me everything seems okay
I not only wrote a new one for last week's prompt (and if those who have not would please read and comments I'd greatly appreciate it) but I have one of my oldest poems that fits this prompt.
ReplyDeleteIMAGES OF SUICIDE
I should never have gone to see you
al dressed up, you lips thin and tight,
eyes closed, so still, your hair slicked back
to cover the bullet hole.
Laid out with folded hands,
one that held the gun.
How much I must not have known,
certainly did not know you
in your casket, someone I had never met
but see in thoughts of you.
I should have remembered you
that morning we made love
as you stood at my screen door
and watched the sun rise.
Tousled hair fell on naked shoulders,
blue jeans hung low about your hips.
Sunlight washed your face with shining warmth.
A cigarette hung loose in your lips,
smoke rose dreamlike in the morning rays,
and you took my breath away.
beautifully written. very emotional touching and loving
Deletedo you still have that great pic I took of him standing by the refrigerator in Linda's kitchen. I had it enlarged and gave it to you when you were living in Denton, TX
DeleteOh my goodness he was real! Gorgeous poem! Sad. (sigh)
DeleteVictoria, this is a beautiful poem. It read well aloud. I loved the visuals
DeleteWow!!! I don't know what to say but, I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's a beautiful poem.
Deletea tough poem to read victoria after having my fiance die in my arms, but brilliantly written - love and peace - paul.
DeleteMoving. There are rookie mistakes you wouldn't have made in later poems. Tousled hair is a cliche, and you seem to say you made while he was standing at the screen door. But sometimes I feel that we owe it to our young poet selves not to let the old farts we've become mess with our poems.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget Ray Bell...this is a beautiful poem. It sounds like a scene from a movie...in fact the whole story could have been a movie...
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteTHE SECRET
Arlene knew the secret
she never told a soul
her find she would not forfeit
When I shop I think of her yet
my change her single goal
Arlene knew the secret
it weighed down my pocket
into hers the coins did roll
her find she would not forfeit.
She said she’d be rich yet
her siblings did not know
Arlene knew the secret
she figured she was set
as stacks of coins did grow
her find she would not forfeit.
This world Arlene has left
in my heart she left a hole
her find she would not forfeit
Arlene knew the secret.
I don't know why but I got a big kick out of this poem. It was so "Arlene". She used to give me change like .46 and tell me that I needed it. I would chuckle and try to give it back but she was insistent that I needed it. I know the two of you were very close and this just gives me a little chuckle.
DeleteHow wonderful you found a way to show us Arlene without dwelling on her death. I love it!
DeleteInteresting character and interesting, well crafted poem.
DeleteBonnie, Arlene was one of my favorite people. This poem is a terrific tribute for her.
DeleteThis is a beautiful poem about my mom. I love it.
Deletei don't know arlene obviously, but she sounds like a nice person.i'm back after my nightmare week. strangely i lost something forever over that week. so here is a poem about it
DeleteBAD DAY 3
sorry can't write about my life today
it would just depress you
and make you cry
shake your head and wonder why, oh why
my last five girlfriends have been a nightmare of blue
there must be a nice lady, who knows another way
joanne got caught with heroin and blamed it on me
as if i'd touch that junk
after she took me for hundreds of pounds and many a penny
thought she was a fluffy bunny, but turned out to be a skunk
i got locked up for the night, while she walked away
only got out when the cops checked her 22 year heroin record and realised you can't believe a word she will ever say.
it's good to be back - paul.
it's nice to have you back. lost a little more faith and trust over that week. sounded like things were going well for you two and then the wolf took off her sheep's clothing and the real joann showed up.
DeletePaul I'm glad to have you back too. You trust too easily I think and it gets you in trouble. Those skunks in fluffy bunny clothes will do it every time. Nice poem
Deletei entered a reply, but it didn't turn up. probably my fault - paul.
Deletesee if this works. thanks ladies. believe it, or not i've been in another nightmare relationship since this one. a woman called sarah after asking me out and her writing me love poetry and me getting her whatever she wanted, she disapeares with my money, bag of booze and her smack. i had high hopes for sarah.....i should have known better - love and peace - paul.
Deleteit was four days after my 13th birthday
ReplyDeleteI was at school like and normal day
my older sister was there and instantly...
my day was night, my mother was no longer by my side
my bestfriend was gone
There was no one to guide me through life
or see me do sports or succeed in anything
I didn't know what to do...
How was I going to survive on my own all alone
in this enormous world of demons and people
who will try to bring me down.
I had to learn how to live with no guidelines
of the most important things in life
it was scary and dark on this side
my home was gone and I couldn't seem to find it
I was alone in the dark with no home
for a very long tine, it was heart breaking
I had to keep going and fighting this
dark night away from home...
I am so happy you continue to join us here. I know losing your mom had to be the most traumatic event in your life. Writing about it can be cathartic. The last lines are so powerful!!! This poem has a lot of potential.
DeleteAnd BTW, your mom's house was always my favorite relative's house to visit. She managed to keep it feeling calm and welcoming, whatever the circumstances.
DeleteTouching and sad. Thank you for this poignant sharing. Wishing you well, Tasha
DeleteYou've done well here, Bre. I'm so happy you are becoming a regular with us. This had to be painful to share.
DeleteBreanne, this is a very special poem. I know it came from your heart. Nana read it to me and I loved it.
Deletewatch out for those demons and people who want to bring you down breanne. i've met most of them - love and peace - paul.
Deleteyou have described how surreal everything seems when someone we love dies and our world turns upside down. a tragic time for you I know. good write.
ReplyDeleteLydia was the sweetest little girl
ReplyDeleteshe played dress up for us
she made sand castles in the sand box
we pushed her on the swings
she was in my tenth grade fashion show
and everyone in the audience said "awww"
she was a big part of our lives
I was little mama
she was my charge
Lydia felt like my own
then, six turned into five, suddenly
it was hard losing her
it was hard on us all
we grew up in one evening
because we needed her
and then she was gone...
sweet memories of a sweet little girl. that was probably the most surreal night of my life. beautiful tribute.
DeleteThis is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful little girl. I never knew her. She would have been my age had she lived. You've told me so much about Lydia that I feel I knew her.
DeleteI never knew about Lydia until now. I love this poem, Nana
DeleteA much sweeter take on this than my Lydia poem. I almost posted that one.
DeleteGone Forever
ReplyDeleteMy mind is gone forever, faded into vague recollections
It's kind of muddled with my poor feeble dissections
I don't anticipate the fog will clear
I'm really lucky to still see and hear
Left field is comfortable, this is where I'll stay
I never really worried if I seem to lose my way
Life can be bliss if you don't really care
Sometimes I just sit there and casually stare
This is the disease of extreme apathy
Which begs your patience and sympathy
I hope that you will forgive that I am currently not in
My mind is not available in this mixed up raucous din
Focus is something that has silently slipped away
It's alright though, because to me everything seems okay
Yep you've lost your mind alright!!! Fun poem!!! I enjoyed it very much...
Deletethis is really funny Papa!! I loved it!! I guess I should go back and make comments on last weeks poems but I'm too tired. LOL
Deleteclever! thanks for making me smile. yep, I think we are all losing our minds but I guess I really don't mind... :-)
Deletevery entertaining, yes. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!
Deleteyou wouldn't want to be in my mind mate. as they used to write on the old shipping charts " here there be monsters " - love and peace - paul.
DeleteLOL. Yup, I can relate.
DeleteLost and Found
ReplyDeleteLost: One first love,
buried under a life as a wife
and mother,
not to be resurrected,
no reward for return.
Lost: one first marriage
faithfully preserved until
it dissolved in the acid of neglect
and failed expectations.
gone forever.
Found: one true love
never to be lost or
given away, always to be
held close and dear
forever and ever.
The lost and found of relationships. Nicely done.
DeleteSorry to be late on this, will do better I hope next time...
ReplyDeleteI always plan to do better next time. If I write a new poem, it tends to happen on Friday.
Deletethanks for the support. I appreciate you very much.I like to think about the subject and turn it over in my mind. That takes time!
Deletethanks for the support. I appreciate you very much.I like to think about the subject and turn it over in my mind. That takes time!
Deleteexcellent tash. bitter sweet, but with a happy ending.seem to be a lot more lost than found nowadays.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dear Paul for your kind comment. I appreciate it and you.
Delete