From Bonnie:
Have you ever made a promise you ended up not being able to keep? How did it make you feel and how did the person to whom you made the promise react? Or the opposite...has anyone ever made a promise to you they didn't keep? How did they react & how did you react?
WHEN YOUR HEART STOPPED FOREVER
ReplyDeleteI promised I would be there
the moment your eyes closed for the last time
when your heart stopped forever.
You begged me to be by your side
to hold you as you slipped away
I promised I would be there
for you, but I was thousands of miles away.
Your new wife didn't want me there
when your heart stopped forever.
She took you from me before the illness came.
We both broke the vows we made.
I promised I would be there,
we both promised 'until death us do part'
but I broke my promise to be there
when your heart stopped forever.
Did she know we remained friends?
You reminded me of my words
when your heart stopped forever,
I promised I would be there.
How very sad and romantic. The villanelle adds power and color to this beautiful story. I know that it is a true story. That is why it is so powerful.
DeleteOh My, this is a powerful poem and very well suited to the form. Thank you for this fine sharing--so poignant and touching.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you promise "...life everlasting, Amen"?
ReplyDeleteI could have sworn it was a prayer somewhere.
I can't put my finger on it, but I hear it in my mind
like some kind of jingle.
As my days grow short
the aroma of soft air grows rich with flavor
the vistas of colors has become bolder
and I war it for "life ever after, Amen".
I want the feel of warm flesh
Death seems so alone, cold, quiet.
Not the quietude of a summer morning,
where the birds do chirp and the breeze
rustles the leaves in the trees.
All my memories are gathering before me.
Like a collection of photographs embedded in my brain
soft summer rain, a walk on a shady mountain path
warm kisses on baby toes, all the things
that make my heart glow.
I want my "life ever after, Amen", that you promised.
Interesting take on "life ever after." I always assumed that meant life after death.
DeleteComments from Bonnie: Your poem is awesome! I can tell you put a lot of time and work into it setting the tone just right. In one line you have war instead of I want the promise ...but I knew what you meant. I am truly impressed with this writing! Bonnie-Poet at Large
DeleteBeautiful descriptions, very poignant. !
DeletePromises
ReplyDeleteThis is a "Google" poem. I took the phrase "You promised" and put it into Google with each letter of the alphabet, A-Z. If there wasn't an acceptable line in the drop down, I tried a few other things like "I promised", "Promises", "Promised". I only cheated on one line I couldn't get anything but "zippy" for z, so I shortened it." I feel like I cheated on "x" but using "x" as "and" is what I got in the dropdown.
You promised a miracle
You promised to write back
You promised chords
You promised definition
Promises explained
You promised forever and a day
Promised grace
Promised hearts
You promised in Spanish
You promised in Japanese
Promises kept
You promised lyrics
You promised me lyrics
I promise nothing)
I promised once
Promises, promises
You promised quotes
You promised, remember?
You promised song
You promised to take care of me
Promises unbroken
I promise vows
You promised we'd grow old together
Promises and heartaches
You promised you would never leave
You promised zip
I really like this poem! It sounds like all the promises of your whole lifetime rolled up into one poem! "You promised we'd grow old together, Promises and heaartaches...". These have to be my favorite lines. So touching and heart breaking.
DeletePowerful and poignant! Took my breath away the way one thought flowed into the next moving in time as promises were made and then lost. One of those poems I could read again and again and always feel the power of the words. Yeah, I really like this one in case you didn't that from my comments.
DeleteThe strange part is, I didn't actually write the poem, Google did.
DeleteInteresting, and as always a reflection of a wonderful mind! Thanks! Tasha
ReplyDeleteI promised once forever after,
ReplyDeletein sun and shade and love and laughter,
alas, the shade o'er came the sun
and rain reduced the last of fun.
The pain o'er came the promises
and ever after dwindled away.
My promise broken I made a vow
of no more promises to say.
Or so I thought, but I was wrong
for then I saw your eyes and knew
I’d be your love for ever after
nor rain nor shade could never do
what they did before because you are
my sun, my raincoat and my star.